So I thought…….

I always thought I had an awesome child hood. I wasn’t raised by my biological mother. I don’t honestly know who my REAL father is. I spent some time with my father that died in 2009 and I spent time with the father that died when I was around two. The father that died when I was around two, his mother raised me and that’s who I call momma. She’s still living and she’s 94 years old. Now I’ve always known my biological mother. I lived around the corner from her. She just wasn’t in a position to raise me. I have three sisters and a brother from my mother. We are not that close for so many reasons that I can do an entire blog on that alone.

As you know from previous post I’m in counseling. My counselor is teaching me how to deal with my emotions. So how do I feel about my upbringing? Well I just told you I thought I had an awesome upbringing. But I must admit it was dysfunctional and perhaps that’s why I accept so much dysfunction in my life now and treat it as normal. So now I want to deal with my child hood.

So here we go. No it’s not right that my mother had me and didn’t raise me. It’s not right that I honestly don’t know who my real father is and both are dead now. It’s not right. It’s not right that I was raised by three sets of grand parents; two father parents and one mother parents. My problem is as far as emotions I dint know which one to feel or deal with. I don’t believe I’m sad. I don’t believe I’m depressed or hurt. I mean it is what it is. I’ve learned to be grateful that I didn’t get placed in a foster home. I’m grateful that I had multiple families loving on me. You know the whole village thing. I think I’m a product of the village.

So to my readers I ask you what emotions should one have in this type of upbringing? How was your upbringing? Is it playing a part of your life now and if so is it negative or positive? Talk to me.

#family #life #living #parents #counseling #thinking #grateful #thankful #siblings #grandparents #negative #positive #feelingswheel #dysfunction

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Venting Via my Blog

My heart is so heavy right now!  I guess I should have never gone on that youtube site to look at the teenager being beat in Chicago.  Initially I had just heard of it and was reading the media outlets.  But after watching it you have to be dead not to feel something.  I just don’t know what to say or do.

Anyone that knows me knows that I love the kids.  I love working with them and encouraging them.  One day while in Atlanta on my way to my sister house we saw three little girls and three little boys going into the bushes at around midnight.  I spoke in a loud voice asking LaVerne to stop so that I could tell the little girls not to go into the woods this time of night with those little boys.  I knew they were up to no good.  But she said no.  She said that she wasn’t getting involved.  I believe that this was in June.  Just recently last week I had a dream that those girls were found dead.

One day I was in the Mall with Reggie and we saw this little boy with is his pants sagging.  I asked Reggie to say something to the little boy and he said no.  So I was going to say something to him instead and Reggie pulled me away and said Sandra come one and leave people alone.

I have a mentee that is a teenage mom (and so was I) that I work with.  One day she told me about her baby daddy hitting on her and I was driving around South Dallas trying to find this kid to speak to him.

These are just a few of the situations I’m sharing with you all now.  But there are so many more.  Its a sad day when the adults are afraid to chastise the youth today because of fear of them hurting us.  I remember when I was coming up my elementary teacher Ms. Hill would pull my ears because I had a big mouth and was always running it.  My oh my when I saw her heading towards my desk I knew I was in for that ear to be pulled red.  My granny didn’t say a word because she knew Ms. Hill was making sure that I got my lesson.  We have moved away from this as a nation.  No one wants the teachers to discipline the children although they are at the school 8 hours a day.  Then when they get home we so tired or so occupied on facebook and other things that we don’t pay them any attention either.  So  you have these kids with hours of no chastisement, no structure, no discipline, but yet we expect them to be the next President Obama.  Probably not gone happen.  Even the bible says that Jesus Chastised those that he loved.

It’s in my heart to help young people.  They have so many options today.   Do you know that all children of all backgrounds and socio-economic status can attend Harvard??  When I was a child Harvard was not even in my vocabulary.  But look at our children today.  The sky is the limit.  Often times they don’t even know this. That is why the shoot for some dreams.  That is way they take the easy way out.   So someone must tell them.  How come we don’t have more lawyers, doctors, Accountant, Engineers, CEOs, CFOs, COOs?  Because we are not showing them how to get into these fields.  But we shower them with the latest video games, the latest clothes, we allow them to have all those stupid hair cuts, color in your hair.  People we must tighten our shot groups and take our kids back!!!  It’s too simple!!!

I believe that our youth are hurting for many reasons.  You have some that are from single parent homes, some have been molested by family members that they looked up too, some are intimidated by other kids being placed higher then them, some are jealous over material things, some have learning disabilities that we are overlooking, some are missing their fathers, some have drug habits, some were carried by parents that were doing drugs while they were in the womb.  So many other factors come into play.  Our  babies need help.  Some are adults now that never got the help that they needed.

The system is going to put them in jail, what will that solve?  Some are going to get the death penalty, what will that solve?  Some we will let just wither away, what will that solve?  I don’t know what to do and I don’t know all the answers.  All my life I’ve been a lover of numbers.  But I’m human and I hurt when I see my young people going through.  I don’t care what color they are.  I’m a soldier and I’m green.  I’ve lived all over the world and I love people.  I love children.  I’m telling you that they need love.  And more love and then some more love!!!  But they also need discipline, they need structure, we can’t be their friends.  That is clearly not working.

What are we going to do?  I don’t know so if someone wants to help me please let me know.  I can start by offering them The Sandra Parks School of Etiquette.  You can find us on line at http://www.sandraparksschoolofetiquette.com or call 972.838.0106