Thoughts, Ideas, and Concepts by Sandra Parks

Posts tagged ‘Children’

10 Tips for Getting the Most from Your Mentor

How can a mentor improve your business and career advancement? Many ways: A mentor can guide you, take you under his wing and teach you new skills. Research has shown that mentoring relationships succeed and are satisfying for both parties when both the mentor and the person being mentored take an active role in developing the relationship.

Here are 10 tips you can implement to ensure you get what you need out of the relationship.

  1. Be clear on why you want a mentor and why you are meeting.
    Define what type of help you’re looking for in a mentor. Are you looking for someone with similar skills or someone with a very different skill set who can coach you? Are you looking for someone who has gone up the corporate ladder and can advise you on the ins and outs of corporate politics?
  2. Establish goals for the relationship.
    Discuss and agree upon the goals of the relationship and what you, personally, are doing to make it a successful venture. Review these goals from time to time to be sure the relationship is working; if not, adjust and refocus.
  3. Network, network and network to find a suitable mentor.
    Once you decide on the type of mentor you need, participate in functions and professional associations where you might find this type of person. For example, scour your chamber of commerce events, alumni and professional associations or even your owncompany. If you do choose someone from your own firm, it’s best to select someone other than your direct supervisor.
  4. Don’t limit yourself to one mentor.
    You can establish multiple mentoring relationships with individuals who can help you grow in different aspects of your life. Think of it as building your own personal board of directors. Also, don’t underestimate the value of a ‘peer mentor’ or someone at your level who has complimentary skills and experiences — even if you think you’re on the same level, you can learn a lot from their previous experiences.
  5. Establish communication methods and frequency of contact from the beginning.
    Talk with your mentor to determine the lines of communication that will work for both of you. Will you meet face to face or communicate mainly through e-mail and the telephone? Make sure you meet/talk enough to suit both of you.
  6. Manage expectations and build trust.
    Mentoring takes time and implies sacrifices for both the person being mentored and the mentor. Be respectful of your mentor’s time and the other priorities in her life, such as family, travel and community activities. Avoid any trust-breaking behaviors such as canceling appointments or not following through on leads and contacts given to you by your mentor.
  7. Acquire mentoring skills and competencies.
    Pay attention to great skills that you notice in your mentors; these skills include listening, guidance, recommendations and wisdom. When you receive corrective feedback from your mentor, don’t be defensive. Listen, digest and take immediate steps to apply what you have learned.
  8. Be respectful of your mentor’s time.
    Do not overburden him by demanding too much time or too many contacts. Understand that the moment you decide you need information might not be the best time for him, so be patient.
  9. Express your gratitude.
    Your mentor is likely to give a lot more than you do in the relationship in terms of time and contacts. Be sure to express regularly that you value and appreciate your mentor’s guidance.
  10. Vary the activities you do together.
    There are numerous activities you can do with your mentor, such as talking about your past experiences, goals, plans, and skill development and attending meetings, conferences, and other events. You can also shadow your mentor at work or exchange and discuss written materials like your resume or an article one of you has written.

30 Things I Love About Being Single Right Now

Back when I was in a relationship, there were a few things I missed about being a single girl. I had been in a great relationship with myself for two years and for all the pleasures of having a boyfriend, I also missed some parts of my former life. Now that I’m Jessica, Party of One, again, I think it’s time to revisit some of the single girl stuff I have to celebrate…

  1. I have the whole bed all to myself.
  2. No one makes a face when I bite my fingernails. (Although really, I should stop doing that.)
  3. I’m eating eating less meat because I barely ever cook it for myself.
  4. No one is scratching their balls and then touching the remote control/fridge door/pillows. At least, I don’t think anyone is.
  5. Lots of uninterrupted vibrator time.
  6. I don’t feel guilty about the smell when I paint my nails.
  7. Not washing anyone else’s laundry or dishes!
  8. I don’t have to worry about being cheated on because there is no one to cheat!
  9. When I wear sweatpants to bed, no one complains about it.
  10. The Millionaire Matchmaker” can play for an entire hour without anyone whining.
  11. Who cares how hairy my legs and armpits are? Not me.
  12. I’m the only one using my expensive shampoo and conditioner.
  13. I made out with a cute guy on a date last week and I really like him!
  14. No more roommates I don’t get along with.
  15. I feel more kinship with other single women — Frisky staff what what!
  16. I’ve seen more of my sisters, my nieces, my nephew and my parents than I have in the whole two years that I was in a relationship.
  17. I can blog about whatever I want regarding my personal life and no one will ask me to explain it later.
  18. Weekends are for me and my family, not anyone else’s.
  19. The next time I go to the movies, I’m almost decidedly seeing a chick flick.
  20. I wake up when my alarm clock goes off without someone pressuring me to hit snooze and give them a little somethin’-somethin’.
  21. Lipstick, lip gloss and lip balm actually stay on my lips now.
  22. Spending about half as much on coffee, seeing as I’m not offernig to buy it for someone all the time.
  23. Sleeping with my childhood teddy bear again … without shame.
  24. Don’t have to share the iPad (or as we used to call it, “the baby”) with anyone.
  25. Flirting without guilt.
  26. My parents’ dog doesn’t have anyone to embarrass me in front of by trying to hump his leg.
  27. Deepening friendships and making new friends with all my free time.
  28. I don’t have to shower as much.
  29. No one has asked me why I need so many shoes, clothes, books, magazines, or TV shows in the TiVo queue. I just do, OK?
  30. NO FOOTBALL!

Today I Cried

Today I cried.  It felt so good.  I needed that.  I had been holding so much in the inside trying to be so strong for everyone else.  But today I broke down.  So many emotions and feelings.  Some were of anger, pain, hurt, feelings of betrayal, loneliness, happiness, thankfulness to mention a few.  I can’t really tell you everything that I was feeling.  But I know I was able to vent to Soror Nedra.  My oh my you talking about  “we help each other for we know there’s no other like our sisterhood” that is what sisters are for.  I so appreciate her for just lending me her ear for a few minutes.  Sometimes thats all it takes is a few minutes.

Then my cousin Nikki texted me and I was able to really just tell it all to her since she knows everything.  And it was as if I was in the counselors chair.  I just poured it all out.  And then came the tears.  I tried to hold my head up and not make a sound because I didn’t want my boys to hear me.  But it just came out.  I had no control.  I don’t know if you have ever been in the spirit and tried to come out and you couldn’t.  Well that is what happen to me today.  I so needed that.  Because I’ve not been to therapy in almost a year now. 

Sometimes keeping yourself busy to not focus on your problems doesn’t work.  And I know for me I have to be strong for so many that I have to put myself off often times.  But how many of us know that you MUST take care of yourself before you can take care of others.  Thus the reason why the flight attendants tell you to put your mask on before you help your child or anyone else.

I don’t celebrate holidays.  However Thanksgiving is just one of those days that I think you are just supposed to be surrounded by loves ones.  It’s such an emotional day for me.  And this morning something so strong came over me.  It was so overwhelming.  But again I thank the Lord on today for just placing someone in my life that allowed me to vent. 

I don’t know about you but my battles start in my mind.  That is where the devil tries to get the best of me.  But how many of you know that he is defeated on today?  He doesn’t have the victory over my mind nor my body nor my soul.  But Jesus made a way of escape for me today just as he promised.  You know I love me some Jesus.  I really do.  I can’t tell you all that he’s done for me because I would be writing for days.  But when I tell you that he is a healer, that he is a friend, that he is a life line, that he is a keeper, that he is long-suffering, that he is patient, but also he chastises me as well.  And I appreciate him for that alone.  I thank him for getting on to me when I’m out of line.  I thank him that I have an ear to hear when he is getting on to me.

You know I have so much to be thankful for on today.  Not because its Thanksgiving but because when I didn’t want to live any more he told me that “THIS IS NOT UNTIL MY DEATH” when I wanted to just give up he wouldn’t allow me and because of that I’ve seen one child off to the US Army, I have one graduating next year and I’m raising my last one with love and patience as well.  I’m so glad that I’m still around to talk to them and tell that I love them and that I’m here for them.  I’m just so grateful on today.  Not only has he allowed me to raise my children; he has allowed me to be a positive force in so many youth today.  And for that I’m grateful as well.  My soul rejoices in him tonight.  I’m happy in Jesus tonight.  He has truly been a wonder in my soul!!!

What’s Up With The Runaway Balloon? – THE BOY HAS BEEN FOUND ALIVE!!!!!

Why in the world is a father in the back yard building something that could possible endanger his child?  Would you have a swimming pool in your back yard that is not gated in or you are not monitoring?  And what’s up with the thrill of chasing tornados?  I’m confused as to how this even happen?  And if it was seen via the Television by millions of viewers then could someone have possibly seen the bottom fall out with the child?

I have so many questions.  I’m totally lost here!  Is this a case of child negligence?  And how come the Big brother didn’t pull the younger brother out or yell or say stop?  And what do they mean that the balloon wasn’t meant to carry anyone?  How were they going to chase the tornado then?

Is it me or is there some information missing from this story?

Will the family be finned because they had to shut down the Denver airport?  Will the passengers at the airport be paid back for their delayed/missed flights and/or connecting flights?

Either way this is a terrible situation and when its all said and done I pray that they find the little boy.  I’m a parent and I can only imagine how they are feeling right now.

OK This Chick is Stone Cold Stupid!!!!

Teacher Kills Lover’s Pregnant Fiancée

art.hughes.pool

This middle school teacher in Mississippi went stone psycho and killed her lover’s pregnant fiancée:

A Mississippi middle school teacher could face the death penalty after she was found guilty Tuesday of fatally shooting and…

… stabbing her lover’s pregnant fiancée in 2006. Carla Hughes, 28, sobbed loudly as a judge read the verdicts on two counts of capital murder for the deaths of Avis Banks and her unborn child. The jury also found the slayings occurred during the commission of a burglary, making Hughes eligible for the death penalty.

A jury of nine women and three men are due to return to Madison County Circuit Court Wednesday morning to decide if Hughes should be executed for killing Banks, who was five months pregnant. Their verdict must be unanimous or Hughes will receive a life sentence. Madison County district attorneys alleged Hughes killed Banks so she could be with Keyon Pittman, her lover and colleague at Chastain Middle School in Jackson, Mississippi.

Not a good example teacher. The state of Mississippi will teach her a lesson.

I got this article from Bossip!!!!  Come on please leave comments!!!!  OMG I have so much to say!!!

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