I have enough

I do a lot of reflecting throughout the day. My mind drifts and I just allow it. I dont care if I’m far off or right on point; I’ve learned to allow my mind to run free. It’s so refreshing and rejuvenating.

You know one would think I have a lot to complain about with everything I’ve been through. But why? Why complain? What’s there to complain about? Everybody has been through something or going through something so what’s so special about me? That’s rhetorical for surely I’m somebody. Somebody special. A woman, a mother, a sister, and a friend amongst other things. But what I’ve learned is that if I can’t be of help or assistance it doesn’t really need to be said.

I could go on and on and speak on my two failed marriages. I could speak on how my first spouse molested my daughter or how my second spouse had a child on me but I have to give you those stories when I’m able to give you the details so that it’s not just a story. But instead it’s a message that can actually help someone by knowing my story. For everything we go through there is a message. A lesson to be learned. And often times it’s not about the person in the story at all.

But what I want to share with you today is everything you need in life is already within you. You have enough right now to make it through any and everything that has or will come upon you. I know often times when we’re going through it doesn’t feel that way but we have to stop living off our feelings. They serve their purpose but you have to go deeper and know that you know that you’re equipped. You have the tools. You have the mind. The weapons. The wherewithal to handle anything that comes up. You just have to believe it.

I’ve learned that seeking outside help from others don’t help you. Often times they just want to know you business anyways. Most of the people you’re seeking help from are in situations just like you or worst. The difference is they not gone tell you their business. So from trial and error I’ve learned not to seek outside help unless it’s via prayer and/or counseling. But my blog is a place where I can be transparent and vent openly. It’s a judge free zone for me. That doesn’t mean I’m not being judged but like most, hiding behind my little WordPress is so therapeutic.

This last picture sums up my post. I pray today that you’re encouraged. Breathe. It’s okay. Deal with whatever you’re going through. Don’t lay it by the side thinking it’ll go away. Work through it. You are capable. As a matter of fact you are more than capable. You are ABLE. πŸ’—πŸ₯°

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You don’t know my story

A lot of people know of me but very few know me. I like it this way too. What you see is not what you always get with me. I can be a complicated person and sometimes by choice. With that being said I love me some me.

I’ve been through a lot. Perhaps no more than anyone else but I’ve been through a lot. I’ve been so low at times where I wanted to give up the ghost; But God. I’ve also been so high where I was like that temptation song, walking on cloud 9.

I’ve been talked about. Somethings have been true and some false. I’ve been loved and I’ve been disliked. I’ve been hurt by people that I thought really loved me. But I’ve also been uplifted by those that do love me. I’ve been encouraged. I’ve had people praying for me when I couldn’t pray for myself. You ask, “how do I know?” Because there were times where I felt my strength coming when I was physically weak.

I’ve had designer clothes, shoes, and handbags, luxury cars and 5000 square feet homes. My children have gone to private schools and we’ve traveled the world. I’ve had million dollar insurance policies and hundreds of thousands of dollars in accounts, banks and investment houses. I’ve had and I’ve lost.

I say all this to say I wouldn’t trade my journey. Every scare. Every pain. The ups and the downs have made me the woman I am today. I’m able to forgive people when they hurt me to the core and honestly still love them. The compassion that Jesus has placed in my heart sometimes don’t make sense. I don’t even understand it. But I’m so grateful for it. And as Philippians 4:12 says, I’ve learned how to be abased and I’ve learned how to abound. For this I’m grateful.

Help is on the way

What a week it’s been. I’m so grateful and thankful for my life. The good and the bad. The pretty and the ugly. I’m thankful for continued growth and strength. I’m thankful that my good days outweigh my bad days. Thankful for friends and family. Thankful for employment. Thankful for salvation. For wisdom. For love and compassion. I’m just thankful on this evening and wanted to share it with the world.

See some folks hide behind so much stuff. Some folks want to be things that they’re not only to win over folks that they don’t even need in their lives but their too silly to see it. I want to encourage you on this evening and let you know help is on the way. Be YOU. Be thankful for your life journey. The mistakes and all. For its making you if you allow it. Don’t regret nothing that you’ve experienced. Embrace it. Now I’m not saying to continue to walk foolishly but I’m saying when life knocks you down get back up. And do it quickly.

Set some goals for this week. Write them down. Take day by day. Visit your goals daily. Don’t be so hard on yourself if you don’t accomplish them all. The goal is to set some goals and diligently seek to accomplish them day by day. Focus on the internal more than the external. And work on YOU instead of worrying about others. Stay in the moment. Don’t give a lot of thought for the next day. And whatever you do don’t look back. And with that please be encouraged.

This morning

I woke up this morning feeling different. I’ve been living in a state of fear and this morning I woke up feeling different. It was a feeling of “girl get it together”. It was sort of an odd feeling but I thank God for it.

Fear is such a crippling emotion. Once you fall into it you can’t even move or think right. You’re like frozen. There is a scripture in the Bible that says God didn’t give us a spirit of fear. I totally get it now. Without a sound mind you’re lost. I dont care how many degrees you have. How huge your vocabulary is. It doesn’t matter. You are not able to advance any agenda if you’re working in fear.

So I decree on this day that I will not walk in fear anymore. When and if it tries to return I’ll use the tools I’ve learned in therapy to overcome it. I’ll pray. I’ll meditate. I’ll journal. I’ll go for a walk or something but I will NOT stay in the state fear. I will NOT.

You know in life you’ll experience various things and guess what? That’s okay. But during or in the experience please make sure that you’re growing. Don’t become stagnant. Don’t let it make you bitter or angry. Fight through it. Life is not as short as people say it is. But life is very valuable. And if you’re able to experience it, do just that. Experience IT. Be open to the challenges. But don’t let it become a wave that takes you under. There are tools that can help you overcome what ever challenges comes upon you.

I encourage you to visit my blog and read these post. Come back whenever you feel the need to. I’m here to help and not judge. The word of God teaches me that we overcome by the words of our testimonies and by the blood of the lamb. So I don’t mind sharing with the world my testimonies if my savior will get the victory and if I can help someone. Don’t be out here thinking you’re alone. That’s a trick of the enemy to getting you feeling you alone. But let me tell you you’re not alone. Just this past Saturday I got so low I wanted to just sleep away, literally. That’s a dangerous place. I’m always in a state of encouraging myself and I’d love to encourage you.

Be blessed my beautiful readers. This too shall pass. And guess what? If you keep pressing your way hopefully you’ll see a new day tomorrow and you’ll be blessed with some new mercy and grace and that right there will be the strength you need to move on. Don’t give up and don’t look be. Be encouraged!

Why Me?

Why NOT me? I mean like really who am I? So I think because I’m educated I’m not going to experience any ups and down in my life? Or because I’ve seen the world I’m better than those that haven’t left the states. Or do I think because I wear beautiful dresses and shoes that I’m all that? Or check this one out, because I’m naming the name of Jesus Christ I’m exempt from going through?.. 😳😳😳😳. What the mess. I pray no one is really feeling this way. I surely pray not.

Inside you’re asking yourself why me, why not be thankful that you’re considered worthy enough to experience EVERYTHING that you’re going through. Why not count it all joy? Why not try to figure out the message and the lesson in it? More than likely it has NOTHING to do with YOU. You’re just the vessel that’s being used. These light afflictions that you’re experiencing regardless of how it my hurt is NOTHING compared to what Jesus had to endure at the cross. When I get into that “why me” mode I begin to think on what Jesus said, if it be your will Lord suffer this cup to pass, NEVERTHELESS, not my will but your will oh Lord. Get you a NEVERTHELESS down on the inside and watch how things begin to look different.

In my efforts to get my life situated after the last five years of darkness I’ve been really digging deep. It’s been hard and it’s been very lonely and emotional but I’m so glad I’m accepting and working through the process. Mental health is real. I dont care if you know Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, or the Hindu Gods, if you are blessed enough to keep opening your eyes morning after morning you’re are going to be tried. And some of us is going to be tried like gold (if you don’t know the process of how gold is made look it up). But if you can stop being the victim and step back and look at things without pity you’ll begin to understand the why and the what. The plan will begin to unfold right before your eyes. You’ll sit back and begin to laugh because you see it for what it’s worth.

I know everyone is looking for a purpose in life. But when you get through searching come back and read this blog again. Your purpose in life is to help someone else. It’s NEVER about you. So STOP putting so much stock in yourself. You’re really not all that. You’re a vessel. And the sooner you accept that the sooner the clouds will open up and the burden will feel less.

I can’t leave this little nugget out. A lot of the stuff we are going through is because we won’t let go of these toxic relationships. 😳😳😳😳. Did I say? Yes I did. And I’m speaking to myself first. We want people to be who we won’t them to be when their not capable. They couldn’t be that person if they honestly tried. I mean think about it. You can learn new skills. Get a higher degree. But your character, morals, and values were created years ago. Those are probably not going to change at 50 years of age. Let go of those toxic relationships and work on your mental health and watch all that stress start falling out. It’ll literally feel like you dropped a heavy bag of books from your arms.

As always be encouraged. Pray. Seek counseling if you need some. Don’t worry about the nay sayers. They messed up too. Work on YOU. Stop trying to change people and/or the situation. Rest in your journey. It’s going to all work out.

I encourage you to read Shook One Anxiety playing tricks on me by Charlamagne Tha God. I just finished reading it the other day and I cried and laughed at the same time. You’ll want to work on you after reading this.

Encourage Yourself

The word of God teaches us that sometimes you going to have to encourage yourself. That is exactly what I’ve been doing. There have been trying times in my life and I’m having to encouraging myself daily. I have to stay focused of the bigger prize and not look back. That looking back will kill your vibe. It’s detrimental to my success.

I thank God on today because he’s been keeping me. Every time an issue arises I’m able to deal with it better. For the most part I’m not allowing the issue to consume me. I’m starting to see it for what it’s worth. That might mean nothing to others but it means a lot to me. Because day by day I’m getting my strength back. I’m being uplifted. I’m truly learning to think it not strange. Now this doesn’t mean that I don’t have emotions pop up. But it does mean that I’m working through those emotions more effectively than I previously did. Remember that post about the fetal position? Well I’m not going into the fetal position. So I’m just thankful for the progress that I’m making.

The photo above is true. I don’t have to cry about the issues that arise in my life for I know that Jesus is already working it out in my favor. See what I’ve learned to do is to stop putting so much focus on my issues. That’s a strategy that’s not healthy. Because the more you focus on a particular thing the bigger it gets. So what I’ve started to do is what Philippians 4:8 teaches us to do and that is to think of things that uplift me and encourage me. Now don’t get me wrong you still have to deal with your issues but what I’m saying is don’t be consumed by them. Give the issue a time frame to work through it and then go back to thinking on other happier things. This is what works for me.

So to you my reader what do you do when you feel yourself drowning in an issue or situation? How do you work through those upheavals in your life? Leave me a comment.

Thankful but Sad

I’m so thankful on today for life. I promise you I am. Jesus knows my heart that I’m so very thankful. But I’m also sad. When the cares of life slap you in the face real hard it has a way of making you feel very sad.

I do know that it’s times like this the Lord is doing a work on me and I have to just allow things to happen and keep the faith. Nevertheless my feelings are valid.

I started this post on Saturday and now it’s Wednesday. I’m not necessarily sad but I’m in a constant state of analysis. Analyzing everything. Taking inventory of my life. My counseling said something to me Monday night that has resonated within me so strong. I have to go back to age 16 and begin to develop emotionally. I was like huh? But upon hearing her explanation it makes total sense. You know this thing called life is not a race. My goal is to get whole. To become complete naturally, physically, and spiritually. So how ever long the process takes I’m in it for the long haul.

Anyways let me here from you. How do you deal with your emotions? Are you at a place in your life where you’re taking inventory? If so tell me your process.