The word of God teaches us that sometimes you going to have to encourage yourself. That is exactly what I’ve been doing. There have been trying times in my life and I’m having to encouraging myself daily. I have to stay focused of the bigger prize and not look back. That looking back will kill your vibe. It’s detrimental to my success.
I thank God on today because he’s been keeping me. Every time an issue arises I’m able to deal with it better. For the most part I’m not allowing the issue to consume me. I’m starting to see it for what it’s worth. That might mean nothing to others but it means a lot to me. Because day by day I’m getting my strength back. I’m being uplifted. I’m truly learning to think it not strange. Now this doesn’t mean that I don’t have emotions pop up. But it does mean that I’m working through those emotions more effectively than I previously did. Remember that post about the fetal position? Well I’m not going into the fetal position. So I’m just thankful for the progress that I’m making.
The photo above is true. I don’t have to cry about the issues that arise in my life for I know that Jesus is already working it out in my favor. See what I’ve learned to do is to stop putting so much focus on my issues. That’s a strategy that’s not healthy. Because the more you focus on a particular thing the bigger it gets. So what I’ve started to do is what Philippians 4:8 teaches us to do and that is to think of things that uplift me and encourage me. Now don’t get me wrong you still have to deal with your issues but what I’m saying is don’t be consumed by them. Give the issue a time frame to work through it and then go back to thinking on other happier things. This is what works for me.
So to you my reader what do you do when you feel yourself drowning in an issue or situation? How do you work through those upheavals in your life? Leave me a comment.
It’s 2 am in the morning here and I’m up watching tennis. Got a lot of things on my mind. Life is interesting. It has a way of slowing you down. I have times when I’m up and then times when I’m down. In both cases I have to stay encouraged. Now we all know it’s easier to stay encouraged when you’re in your up season. The fight is when you’re in your down season or somewhere in between up and down.
By nature I’m a fairly high spirited person. I’m loud and silly. But I also have an edge about myself. I’m an introvert and a extrovert. I love being around people but I also enjoy the pleasure of being alone. I don’t like to compromise on things that I’m passionate about. When I’m ready to go I’m ready to go. I don’t have a lot of patience. I’m a helper. I love helping people. I’ve been known to give clothes off my back. I’ve given my last. I’ve stopped what I was doing and prayed for others. So I’d say overall I’m an okay person.
But life. This thing called life happens in ways you can’t control. I’ve been called a control freak. My Jesus I wish I had control over my life. The people in it. The things that happens to it. My coming and going. But unfortunately I don’t and what I’m learning is to be okay with that. I’m learning that I don’t control nothing, literally. And guess what? I’m learning to be okay with that.
So this morning I’m going to lay into the emotion of confusion and think about what that means. How it really makes me feel. And once I finish basking it that emotion I pray I have the strength to move forward and accept it for it is. But with all that I want to continue to encourage myself and know that all things are working together for my good. I need to know that the things that I have to go through are not to be thought of as strange. That they, the issues of life, are working patience in me. They are building character.
So it’s okay to be confused. Just don’t stay there. Figure it out. Give yourself time to figure it out. Don’t judge yourself whilst you’re working it out. Breathe. Deal with it. So to my readers, what are you confused about? And if you’re confused what are you doing about it?
#confused #confusion #life #thoughts #breathe #relax #relate #experience #love #believe #tennis #australianopen #serenawilliams #venuswilliams #judgement #faith #character #pray #prayer #cry #tears #encouragement
I’m so thankful on today for life. I promise you I am. Jesus knows my heart that I’m so very thankful. But I’m also sad. When the cares of life slap you in the face real hard it has a way of making you feel very sad.
I do know that it’s times like this the Lord is doing a work on me and I have to just allow things to happen and keep the faith. Nevertheless my feelings are valid.
I started this post on Saturday and now it’s Wednesday. I’m not necessarily sad but I’m in a constant state of analysis. Analyzing everything. Taking inventory of my life. My counseling said something to me Monday night that has resonated within me so strong. I have to go back to age 16 and begin to develop emotionally. I was like huh? But upon hearing her explanation it makes total sense. You know this thing called life is not a race. My goal is to get whole. To become complete naturally, physically, and spiritually. So how ever long the process takes I’m in it for the long haul.
Anyways let me here from you. How do you deal with your emotions? Are you at a place in your life where you’re taking inventory? If so tell me your process.
You know over in the midnight hour is a phrase I grew up on. My grandmother use to say it all the time pertaining to one thing or another. But as an adult I totally get it now. Well last night I had an “over in the midnight hour” experience. I toss and turn from midnight to 5:30am this morning. You see I’m going through a rough season in my life right now. And last night got really hard. So much so that just typing this entry is bringing about tears.
You know over in the midnight hour doesn’t have to begin at midnight. I’ve had one that came in the middle of the day. Nevertheless I got no sleep last night wrestling with my mind. It was all over the place. It wouldn’t stop and I got into a pity party by myself about myself. How many know Jesus don’t care nothing about your pity party? We’ve already been instructed to “count it all joy” so instead of wallowing in my mess last night I should have gotten up and paced and prayed. I did pray but while lying there. And when you’re lying there thinking of all your drama it’s hard to go into a good prayer. Every time I reached out something would pop up.
My mother’s mother came to mind. She was selling condemns. 😳😳😳. I dont know where it came from but it was so vivid. She has having them delivered but the truck load. I even told her I’d store some in my garage. Then I went back into prayer. Lord Jesus strengthen me on today. Have mercy on my soul. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit in me. Then my 2003 situation came to me. I begin judging myself on how I handled that situation. How many know that there is therefore NO condemnation to those that are in Christ Jesus? I know that but my mind and that ole devil was accusing me of all sorts of things. For those of you that don’t know what I went through in 2003 keep coming by and reading my blog it will all be revealed soon. Again I begin to rebuke the devil and his tactics. I begin to ask Jesus again to help me mortify things body and to cast cares upon him. For I know he cares for me. I begin to beg for Jesus yoke for it’s easy. Then my current situation came. I mean I was crying and sweating. And if you read my previous blog, I went into that fetal position that wrote about. I had gotten low.
Praise God for new grace and mercy on this morning. I’m here and alive and pressing. I’m leaving yesterday behind me and going to press my way into victory. You know last year Jesus gave me I Peter 5:10 so I have to believe that even when things are looking different then the promise he gave me I’m going to continue to stand on his promise for I know that all his promises are yes and amen. How many of you believe that we are not children that walk after what we see but instead we walk by faith calling those things that be not as though they were. So this morning I am claiming victory. I rebuke myself for letting myself get into a rut. I know better. I asked myself whose report was I going to believe. Was I going to allow that ole spirit to take control or was I going to armor up?
Can we be honest for a moment here…..most time when we (I) fall into this kind of thing it’s because I’ve given flesh more attention then my spirit. It’s the truth. We don’t want to admit it but it’s the truth any how. I know it is. Y’all Jesus is real. There is NO temptation common unto to man that Jesus won’t make room for us to escape. Hebrew 10:39 teaches us not to draw back to perdition but instead to go on believing to the saving of our soul.
So although I wasn’t strong enough during my midnight hour experience I encourage you, my readers, to be encouraged on today. Press and fight for your soul. Don’t be defeated. Feed your spirit man so you will had the weapon to stand up against evil and worrying spirits. I compel you to fight for the salvation that was once delivered to the saints. It’s ours but we gone have to take it by force.
Let’s pray for each other. I know I’m not the only one going through. We over come by the blood of the lamb and by the words of our testimonies. Folks dont want to share their testimonies no more today because we all want to look well put together all along we are dying and hurting in the inside.
Is there anything I can stand in the gap with about on today?
There are times throughout the day where if I’m not careful I find myself in the fetal position mentally and physically. It use to happen more often then it does now. Now I’m aware of it so I immediately get myself going before I get that low. I learned some skills in counseling.
Sometimes my mind won’t stop. It wants to go back in time and try to figure out why. That’s where it begins. I begin to think of why things happen to me. Why people let me down. Why weren’t people there for me. Why did I have to walk alone. How come people can’t be real. It starts to think about some the worst positions that I’ve been in. But now instead of getting stuck I press. I read. I write. I journal. Or I do what I’m doing now, I start blogging.
My schooling and career is that of analysis so I can over analysis stuff easily. Without even realizing that’s what I’m doing and before you know it I’m about to cry. Now I confess to be a Christian and I know not to look back. There is an example of Lots’ wife looking back so I know the consequences of looking back but I’m speaking my truth in telling you that I’ve been guilty of looking back. I’m trying to practice not looking back because thats where things begin to spiral out of control. So starting back blogging has really been another outlet for me that keeps me from getting into that fetal position.
You know I really do thank Jesus for all that he’s allowed me to experience in my life. I’m literally learning to count it all joy and to think it not strange when I even go through various situation. I’m starting to really be grateful that as he told the devil with Job, have you considered my faithful servant, he’s done and doing the same thing with me.
So you know I like feedback so to you my readers what do you struggle with? Do you ever experience that low level of depression and if you do what do you do to get out of it.
#depression #life #sadness #fetalposition #faith #jesus #health #patience #love #live #growth #beencouraged #strive #thrive #struggle
As I set here thinking of life, my life, so much is running around in this dome of mine that I don’t know where to begin.
You know folks have always thought that I was a strong independent black female. And I’ve always accepted that truth. And there is some truth in it. But what if I shared with you all the things that I’ve had to endure. What if I told you how I’ve had two failed marriages. What if I told you how I’ve lied. What if told you how I’ve cheated. What if I told you that there were times when I felt like I was a bad mother. That there were times when I felt less than. What if I shared with you how anxiety attacked me so hard that I peed myself in public; more than once. What if I told you that I’ve wanted to kill myself. What if I shared all the darkness in my life, would you still think I was a strong independent woman?
I think there is a poem that says that life ain’t been no walk in the park for me. Or something like that. And it hasn’t. I’ve been hurt and I’ve hurt. I’ve gone to dark places and tasted death but here I am to write this blog.
I dont know how strong I am but what I will say is that I thank Jesus for life. I thank Jesus for my journey. I thank Jesus for being with me every step of the way. I thank Jesus that he’s giving me the strength to speak about my life issues as a way to help myself and hopefully others.
Come back and visit and talk to me as I continue to open up and prove that some of the very foundations that we were taught or learned along the way were false. Or shall I say it’s all subjective. I’m in control of my own happiness moving forward. I won’t be confined. I will no longer keep quiet and worry about folks speaking about me. If I can help someone else with my life stories I’m here to tell it all.
Stay with me and help me help us all on this journey to authenticity.
#life #death #strong #weak #journey #jesus #faith #anxiety #suicide #independent #happy #authentic
I always thought I had an awesome child hood. I wasn’t raised by my biological mother. I don’t honestly know who my REAL father is. I spent some time with my father that died in 2009 and I spent time with the father that died when I was around two. The father that died when I was around two, his mother raised me and that’s who I call momma. She’s still living and she’s 94 years old. Now I’ve always known my biological mother. I lived around the corner from her. She just wasn’t in a position to raise me. I have three sisters and a brother from my mother. We are not that close for so many reasons that I can do an entire blog on that alone.
As you know from previous post I’m in counseling. My counselor is teaching me how to deal with my emotions. So how do I feel about my upbringing? Well I just told you I thought I had an awesome upbringing. But I must admit it was dysfunctional and perhaps that’s why I accept so much dysfunction in my life now and treat it as normal. So now I want to deal with my child hood.
So here we go. No it’s not right that my mother had me and didn’t raise me. It’s not right that I honestly don’t know who my real father is and both are dead now. It’s not right. It’s not right that I was raised by three sets of grand parents; two father parents and one mother parents. My problem is as far as emotions I dint know which one to feel or deal with. I don’t believe I’m sad. I don’t believe I’m depressed or hurt. I mean it is what it is. I’ve learned to be grateful that I didn’t get placed in a foster home. I’m grateful that I had multiple families loving on me. You know the whole village thing. I think I’m a product of the village.
So to my readers I ask you what emotions should one have in this type of upbringing? How was your upbringing? Is it playing a part of your life now and if so is it negative or positive? Talk to me.
#family #life #living #parents #counseling #thinking #grateful #thankful #siblings #grandparents #negative #positive #feelingswheel #dysfunction