Thoughts, Ideas, and Concepts by Sandra Parks

Posts tagged ‘Men’

30 Things I Love About Being Single Right Now

Back when I was in a relationship, there were a few things I missed about being a single girl. I had been in a great relationship with myself for two years and for all the pleasures of having a boyfriend, I also missed some parts of my former life. Now that I’m Jessica, Party of One, again, I think it’s time to revisit some of the single girl stuff I have to celebrate…

  1. I have the whole bed all to myself.
  2. No one makes a face when I bite my fingernails. (Although really, I should stop doing that.)
  3. I’m eating eating less meat because I barely ever cook it for myself.
  4. No one is scratching their balls and then touching the remote control/fridge door/pillows. At least, I don’t think anyone is.
  5. Lots of uninterrupted vibrator time.
  6. I don’t feel guilty about the smell when I paint my nails.
  7. Not washing anyone else’s laundry or dishes!
  8. I don’t have to worry about being cheated on because there is no one to cheat!
  9. When I wear sweatpants to bed, no one complains about it.
  10. The Millionaire Matchmaker” can play for an entire hour without anyone whining.
  11. Who cares how hairy my legs and armpits are? Not me.
  12. I’m the only one using my expensive shampoo and conditioner.
  13. I made out with a cute guy on a date last week and I really like him!
  14. No more roommates I don’t get along with.
  15. I feel more kinship with other single women — Frisky staff what what!
  16. I’ve seen more of my sisters, my nieces, my nephew and my parents than I have in the whole two years that I was in a relationship.
  17. I can blog about whatever I want regarding my personal life and no one will ask me to explain it later.
  18. Weekends are for me and my family, not anyone else’s.
  19. The next time I go to the movies, I’m almost decidedly seeing a chick flick.
  20. I wake up when my alarm clock goes off without someone pressuring me to hit snooze and give them a little somethin’-somethin’.
  21. Lipstick, lip gloss and lip balm actually stay on my lips now.
  22. Spending about half as much on coffee, seeing as I’m not offernig to buy it for someone all the time.
  23. Sleeping with my childhood teddy bear again … without shame.
  24. Don’t have to share the iPad (or as we used to call it, “the baby”) with anyone.
  25. Flirting without guilt.
  26. My parents’ dog doesn’t have anyone to embarrass me in front of by trying to hump his leg.
  27. Deepening friendships and making new friends with all my free time.
  28. I don’t have to shower as much.
  29. No one has asked me why I need so many shoes, clothes, books, magazines, or TV shows in the TiVo queue. I just do, OK?
  30. NO FOOTBALL!

Why You’re Still Unemployed One Year Later

The one-year anniversary of unemployment is rarely a cause for celebration.

Every day I hear from executives — top men and women in their fields — who are going through extended unemployment. They have not had a bite … even a nibble.

Some of these people have had freelance or consulting assignments. Others dabbled with the idea of “reinventing” themselves. The plain truth is: The higher up the ladder you are, the longer it seems it takes to find work — much more so during a recession.

Unemployment and underemployment for top-paid executives is a sign of the times.  As a “jobconomist, ” I see it staying this way through 2010. 

The prolonged pain of this recession makes those unemployed for a year or more even more depressed.

Executives who are unemployed for such an extended term become understandably frustrated. Then that frustration turns into depression, and depression becomes bitterness. You begin second-guessing, questioning everything about yourself and your efforts to find work.

That’s the beginning of the cycle. Who wants to hire a depressed executive?

If you fit this description and are feeling hopeless, let me tell you it is possible to break this cycle of rejection.  

You can turn your fate around in your favor and get more interviews and eventually land inspiring, challenging jobs.

Stop blaming your tools

Have you ever noticed how $100K+ executives always blame their “resumes” for lack of interviews? Most of these same people have paid to have their resumes professionally prepared.

But it’s not them.

After their resumes, what’s the next excuse of these executives? Come on, you know: age…followed by money … the very fact that you were making $100K+. These are your (former) excuses.

It’s not them, it’s you

These are all excuses for what the real problem may be: you — and your attitude .

Your legitimately depressed emotional state has permeated everything you touch. Even the way you have crafted your resume or let it be crafted.

The way you network, the way you interview. After one year of being unemployed, you have bought in to the defeatist attitude. The only thing worse than being unemployed for more than a year is to be the spouse or partner of the person who has been unemployed.

When you have been unemployed for one year or more, the change will only come when you are willing to admit that you are helpless to find a job.

Once you face the fact that there is something about you that is holding you back from finding work, you can move forward with a new plan of action and a changed attitude. 

Keyword: attitude.

Here are my recommendations for positive change if you’re in the One-Year-Unemployed club:

Step 1: Admit you have a real problem finding a job.

Do not blame the resume; do not blame your age, past salary or the economy. Blame your attitude.

Step 2: Work to change that attitude.

Step 3: Work harder.

That means sacrifice and re-engineer your thinking process. No vacations. You should not be rewarding yourself for not finding work. Just the opposite.

 Step 4: Change your bitter attitude.

Eliminative negative vocabulary words like: “Just spinning my wheels,” “I am too old or experienced for this,” “I cannot take a job for less than ___,” or “I require this salary.”

Step 5: Stop blaming the resume.

Blame yourself. You own that document. Consider your resume, no matter who did it, only a “template.” Tweak that resume yourself to suit each job you pursue.

Step 6 : Look in the mirror:

Do you  look  like you are worth the $100K+ income you require.  Shallow but true. 

Do you need a Crest Whitestrips smile? What do those teeth look like? Men: Do you have inappropriate facial hair you could get away with when you were making $100K+ but can’t now?

Hair color? Clothes? Handshake? Look like a million dollars, and you can get a million dollars. Shallow, yes. …What happened to credentials? Working hard and all that? Well, you tell me! You’re the one that has been unemployed for at least a year. I am directing you as if you were in unemployed rehab. The “Betty Ford” of the unemployed. Re-engineer what you are thinking. 

Step 7 : Stop leaning or your spouse or partner.

No whining or complaining. Talk very little about your job search, and when you do, bring up only the positive aspects of what you have gone through each day. Your spouse or partner is supporting you.

OK. Got it? Now, you haven’t died. Erase that old anniversary date. That was actually a new start. Try it again. A fresh attitude, a fresh start is what we all need. Go ahead and make this Day One…all over again.

Let me know what you think.

Stephen Viscusi is the host of the upcoming TV show “The Headhunter From Hell.”
Stephen is the founder of www.bulletprrofyourresume and the author of the HarperCollins book “Bulletproof Your Job” published in nine languages. You can write Stephen at Stephen@viscusi.com.

Today I Cried

Today I cried.  It felt so good.  I needed that.  I had been holding so much in the inside trying to be so strong for everyone else.  But today I broke down.  So many emotions and feelings.  Some were of anger, pain, hurt, feelings of betrayal, loneliness, happiness, thankfulness to mention a few.  I can’t really tell you everything that I was feeling.  But I know I was able to vent to Soror Nedra.  My oh my you talking about  “we help each other for we know there’s no other like our sisterhood” that is what sisters are for.  I so appreciate her for just lending me her ear for a few minutes.  Sometimes thats all it takes is a few minutes.

Then my cousin Nikki texted me and I was able to really just tell it all to her since she knows everything.  And it was as if I was in the counselors chair.  I just poured it all out.  And then came the tears.  I tried to hold my head up and not make a sound because I didn’t want my boys to hear me.  But it just came out.  I had no control.  I don’t know if you have ever been in the spirit and tried to come out and you couldn’t.  Well that is what happen to me today.  I so needed that.  Because I’ve not been to therapy in almost a year now. 

Sometimes keeping yourself busy to not focus on your problems doesn’t work.  And I know for me I have to be strong for so many that I have to put myself off often times.  But how many of us know that you MUST take care of yourself before you can take care of others.  Thus the reason why the flight attendants tell you to put your mask on before you help your child or anyone else.

I don’t celebrate holidays.  However Thanksgiving is just one of those days that I think you are just supposed to be surrounded by loves ones.  It’s such an emotional day for me.  And this morning something so strong came over me.  It was so overwhelming.  But again I thank the Lord on today for just placing someone in my life that allowed me to vent. 

I don’t know about you but my battles start in my mind.  That is where the devil tries to get the best of me.  But how many of you know that he is defeated on today?  He doesn’t have the victory over my mind nor my body nor my soul.  But Jesus made a way of escape for me today just as he promised.  You know I love me some Jesus.  I really do.  I can’t tell you all that he’s done for me because I would be writing for days.  But when I tell you that he is a healer, that he is a friend, that he is a life line, that he is a keeper, that he is long-suffering, that he is patient, but also he chastises me as well.  And I appreciate him for that alone.  I thank him for getting on to me when I’m out of line.  I thank him that I have an ear to hear when he is getting on to me.

You know I have so much to be thankful for on today.  Not because its Thanksgiving but because when I didn’t want to live any more he told me that “THIS IS NOT UNTIL MY DEATH” when I wanted to just give up he wouldn’t allow me and because of that I’ve seen one child off to the US Army, I have one graduating next year and I’m raising my last one with love and patience as well.  I’m so glad that I’m still around to talk to them and tell that I love them and that I’m here for them.  I’m just so grateful on today.  Not only has he allowed me to raise my children; he has allowed me to be a positive force in so many youth today.  And for that I’m grateful as well.  My soul rejoices in him tonight.  I’m happy in Jesus tonight.  He has truly been a wonder in my soul!!!

Men Making Things Happen!!!

Ok friends and family, I will now start a blog about positive men that are making things happen for themselves and our communities.  So if you know of any please forward their contact information to me.  I’ll start it off with a Cavalier of mine.  We went to the same high school and came out in 1991.  This young man is powerful and is doing it for himself, his family, and his community.

Elijah J. Shaw, CEO
Icon Services Corporation
– Providing Quality Security & Investigation Services –
(651) 695-8778 Office  (651) 644-2976 Fax
Corporate Website: www.Industry-Icon.com

Icon CEO, Elijah Shaw featured in a recent issue of INC. Magazine.  Click on the link to read the article.

If you know of other positive males out there please let me know.  I can be reached at saprpm@yahoo.com/972.569.7938.  Thanks!

Ok I don’t get a chance to watch TV so Bossip is my Celebrity TV

Let’s Break Down This Letterman Scandal….Shall We???

Posted by Bossip Staff

letterman2

We know you didn’t think we were going to let Letterman slide on his deviant acts, did you? Let’s break down all the characters that are becoming more and more interesting as the days pass:

The confession: Letterman talked about the extortion attempt — and admitted to the affairs — during a taping of his show last week.

Arrested: Robert “Joe” Halderman was charged with…… attempted first-degree grand larceny in the $2 million plot. (How did he plead?)

Alleged lover: Letterman’s longtime assistant Stephanie Burkitt has appeared on the show. (See videos.) Halderman reportedly lived with Burkitt until their recent breakup. (Find out more about her.)

The intern’s claims: A woman who worked for Letterman in the ’90s reportedly told this site that she is among those who had a relationship with the host.

His wife: Letterman and Regina Lasko married in March after dating for many years and have a son. (Watch Letterman’s apology to his wife.)

Damn, he just got married in March and is already in the dog house.

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