I have enough

I do a lot of reflecting throughout the day. My mind drifts and I just allow it. I dont care if I’m far off or right on point; I’ve learned to allow my mind to run free. It’s so refreshing and rejuvenating.

You know one would think I have a lot to complain about with everything I’ve been through. But why? Why complain? What’s there to complain about? Everybody has been through something or going through something so what’s so special about me? That’s rhetorical for surely I’m somebody. Somebody special. A woman, a mother, a sister, and a friend amongst other things. But what I’ve learned is that if I can’t be of help or assistance it doesn’t really need to be said.

I could go on and on and speak on my two failed marriages. I could speak on how my first spouse molested my daughter or how my second spouse had a child on me but I have to give you those stories when I’m able to give you the details so that it’s not just a story. But instead it’s a message that can actually help someone by knowing my story. For everything we go through there is a message. A lesson to be learned. And often times it’s not about the person in the story at all.

But what I want to share with you today is everything you need in life is already within you. You have enough right now to make it through any and everything that has or will come upon you. I know often times when we’re going through it doesn’t feel that way but we have to stop living off our feelings. They serve their purpose but you have to go deeper and know that you know that you’re equipped. You have the tools. You have the mind. The weapons. The wherewithal to handle anything that comes up. You just have to believe it.

I’ve learned that seeking outside help from others don’t help you. Often times they just want to know you business anyways. Most of the people you’re seeking help from are in situations just like you or worst. The difference is they not gone tell you their business. So from trial and error I’ve learned not to seek outside help unless it’s via prayer and/or counseling. But my blog is a place where I can be transparent and vent openly. It’s a judge free zone for me. That doesn’t mean I’m not being judged but like most, hiding behind my little WordPress is so therapeutic.

This last picture sums up my post. I pray today that you’re encouraged. Breathe. It’s okay. Deal with whatever you’re going through. Don’t lay it by the side thinking it’ll go away. Work through it. You are capable. As a matter of fact you are more than capable. You are ABLE. 💗🥰

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This morning

I woke up this morning feeling different. I’ve been living in a state of fear and this morning I woke up feeling different. It was a feeling of “girl get it together”. It was sort of an odd feeling but I thank God for it.

Fear is such a crippling emotion. Once you fall into it you can’t even move or think right. You’re like frozen. There is a scripture in the Bible that says God didn’t give us a spirit of fear. I totally get it now. Without a sound mind you’re lost. I dont care how many degrees you have. How huge your vocabulary is. It doesn’t matter. You are not able to advance any agenda if you’re working in fear.

So I decree on this day that I will not walk in fear anymore. When and if it tries to return I’ll use the tools I’ve learned in therapy to overcome it. I’ll pray. I’ll meditate. I’ll journal. I’ll go for a walk or something but I will NOT stay in the state fear. I will NOT.

You know in life you’ll experience various things and guess what? That’s okay. But during or in the experience please make sure that you’re growing. Don’t become stagnant. Don’t let it make you bitter or angry. Fight through it. Life is not as short as people say it is. But life is very valuable. And if you’re able to experience it, do just that. Experience IT. Be open to the challenges. But don’t let it become a wave that takes you under. There are tools that can help you overcome what ever challenges comes upon you.

I encourage you to visit my blog and read these post. Come back whenever you feel the need to. I’m here to help and not judge. The word of God teaches me that we overcome by the words of our testimonies and by the blood of the lamb. So I don’t mind sharing with the world my testimonies if my savior will get the victory and if I can help someone. Don’t be out here thinking you’re alone. That’s a trick of the enemy to getting you feeling you alone. But let me tell you you’re not alone. Just this past Saturday I got so low I wanted to just sleep away, literally. That’s a dangerous place. I’m always in a state of encouraging myself and I’d love to encourage you.

Be blessed my beautiful readers. This too shall pass. And guess what? If you keep pressing your way hopefully you’ll see a new day tomorrow and you’ll be blessed with some new mercy and grace and that right there will be the strength you need to move on. Don’t give up and don’t look be. Be encouraged!

Why Me?

Why NOT me? I mean like really who am I? So I think because I’m educated I’m not going to experience any ups and down in my life? Or because I’ve seen the world I’m better than those that haven’t left the states. Or do I think because I wear beautiful dresses and shoes that I’m all that? Or check this one out, because I’m naming the name of Jesus Christ I’m exempt from going through?.. 😳😳😳😳. What the mess. I pray no one is really feeling this way. I surely pray not.

Inside you’re asking yourself why me, why not be thankful that you’re considered worthy enough to experience EVERYTHING that you’re going through. Why not count it all joy? Why not try to figure out the message and the lesson in it? More than likely it has NOTHING to do with YOU. You’re just the vessel that’s being used. These light afflictions that you’re experiencing regardless of how it my hurt is NOTHING compared to what Jesus had to endure at the cross. When I get into that “why me” mode I begin to think on what Jesus said, if it be your will Lord suffer this cup to pass, NEVERTHELESS, not my will but your will oh Lord. Get you a NEVERTHELESS down on the inside and watch how things begin to look different.

In my efforts to get my life situated after the last five years of darkness I’ve been really digging deep. It’s been hard and it’s been very lonely and emotional but I’m so glad I’m accepting and working through the process. Mental health is real. I dont care if you know Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, or the Hindu Gods, if you are blessed enough to keep opening your eyes morning after morning you’re are going to be tried. And some of us is going to be tried like gold (if you don’t know the process of how gold is made look it up). But if you can stop being the victim and step back and look at things without pity you’ll begin to understand the why and the what. The plan will begin to unfold right before your eyes. You’ll sit back and begin to laugh because you see it for what it’s worth.

I know everyone is looking for a purpose in life. But when you get through searching come back and read this blog again. Your purpose in life is to help someone else. It’s NEVER about you. So STOP putting so much stock in yourself. You’re really not all that. You’re a vessel. And the sooner you accept that the sooner the clouds will open up and the burden will feel less.

I can’t leave this little nugget out. A lot of the stuff we are going through is because we won’t let go of these toxic relationships. 😳😳😳😳. Did I say? Yes I did. And I’m speaking to myself first. We want people to be who we won’t them to be when their not capable. They couldn’t be that person if they honestly tried. I mean think about it. You can learn new skills. Get a higher degree. But your character, morals, and values were created years ago. Those are probably not going to change at 50 years of age. Let go of those toxic relationships and work on your mental health and watch all that stress start falling out. It’ll literally feel like you dropped a heavy bag of books from your arms.

As always be encouraged. Pray. Seek counseling if you need some. Don’t worry about the nay sayers. They messed up too. Work on YOU. Stop trying to change people and/or the situation. Rest in your journey. It’s going to all work out.

I encourage you to read Shook One Anxiety playing tricks on me by Charlamagne Tha God. I just finished reading it the other day and I cried and laughed at the same time. You’ll want to work on you after reading this.

Change

I’m really working on me like never before. I mean I’m praying more. Going to natural counseling to deal with old demons that I’ve never confronted. I’m forgiving those that have hurt me and asking Jesus to help them. This is not easy but it’s needed. I wish I would have started years earlier but it’s okay. Better late than never. And guess what? Day by day I’m feeling better.

What are working on in your life? Have you forgiven those that have caused you harm? Even yourself? I realized I hadn’t forgiven myself for several things. But my goal is to walk in peace and love. I also realize I can’t live in those spirits if my inside is jacked up. And it’s been jacked up a long time. Looking at others and not looking at myself. So on today I encourage us all to look our own faults and others faults and see the need. Work on yourself. Press daily to be a better you than you were yesterday. That should be your ONLY competition. Be encouraged on today.

Encourage Yourself

The word of God teaches us that sometimes you going to have to encourage yourself. That is exactly what I’ve been doing. There have been trying times in my life and I’m having to encouraging myself daily. I have to stay focused of the bigger prize and not look back. That looking back will kill your vibe. It’s detrimental to my success.

I thank God on today because he’s been keeping me. Every time an issue arises I’m able to deal with it better. For the most part I’m not allowing the issue to consume me. I’m starting to see it for what it’s worth. That might mean nothing to others but it means a lot to me. Because day by day I’m getting my strength back. I’m being uplifted. I’m truly learning to think it not strange. Now this doesn’t mean that I don’t have emotions pop up. But it does mean that I’m working through those emotions more effectively than I previously did. Remember that post about the fetal position? Well I’m not going into the fetal position. So I’m just thankful for the progress that I’m making.

The photo above is true. I don’t have to cry about the issues that arise in my life for I know that Jesus is already working it out in my favor. See what I’ve learned to do is to stop putting so much focus on my issues. That’s a strategy that’s not healthy. Because the more you focus on a particular thing the bigger it gets. So what I’ve started to do is what Philippians 4:8 teaches us to do and that is to think of things that uplift me and encourage me. Now don’t get me wrong you still have to deal with your issues but what I’m saying is don’t be consumed by them. Give the issue a time frame to work through it and then go back to thinking on other happier things. This is what works for me.

So to you my reader what do you do when you feel yourself drowning in an issue or situation? How do you work through those upheavals in your life? Leave me a comment.

I knew this was going to happen, SMH!!!!

Just when you thought you’d have to wait till March of 2010 for the ‘King of the South’ to make his return, think again.

T.I.’s release date from prison is March 23 but rumors were swirling Tuesday that the king was already out of the bing and had quietly retreated to his Atlanta home.

The speculation was cleared however after a prison official told The Atlanta Journal Constitution that while TIP is still locked up, he could be out very shortly.

Bureau of Prisons spokesman Edmond Ross told the AJC that it was customary for an inmate to transition from prison to freedom by spending time in a halfway house if there is no danger to the community and if there is space at a facility near where he lives.

He also told the publication,

“Usually that process begins when there are 18 months remaining on a sentence, but in this case it would have to start sooner. It’s not uncommon for inmates to be placed in community corrections for the last portion of their confinement to help with his transition.”

Ross also mentioned to the AJC that TIP could serve the final month of his sentence out of the halfway house and in his home in Atlanta.

Wow! Talk about good lawyers….or maybe it’s just good behavior…..or maybe it’s just good money.

Either way, get ready…The king’s baaack!

What The Mess???????????

NEW YORK – The couple who crashed President Barack Obama’s first state dinner are peddling their story to broadcast networks for hundreds of thousands of dollars, a television executive says.

The executive, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the network does not publicly discuss bookings, told The Associated Press that representatives for Michaele and Tareq Salahi contacted networks to urge them to “get their bids in” for an interview. The executive said the Virginia couple was looking for a payment in the mid-six figures range.

Meanwhile, CNN confirmed that the Salahis had canceled an appearance they had scheduled for “Larry King Live” on Monday.

Network news divisions say they don’t pay for interviews. But for eagerly sought interviews in the past, they have offered to pay for access to exclusive material, such as pictures or videos from their subjects.

Representatives for the couple did not immediately return telephone and e-mail requests for comment.

Michaele Salahis is a reality TV hopeful trying to get on Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of D.C.” Her and her husband’s success in getting into the state dinner Tuesday without an invitation embarrassed the White House and Secret Service.

The agency acknowledged its officers never checked whether the couple were on the guest list before letting them onto the White House grounds. But it initially insisted Obama was never endangered by the security breach because the couple — like others at the dinner — had gone through magnetometers.

When it became clear the couple had interacted with Obama and Vice President Joe Biden during the event, Secret Service Director Mark Sullivan expressed concern and embarrassment. He said that while an investigation continues, the agency has taken measures to ensure the oversight is not repeated.

A White House photo showed the Salahis in the receiving line in the Blue Room with Obama and Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, in whose honor the dinner was held. Obama and Michaele Salahi are smiling as she grasps his right hand with both of hers and her husband looks on. Singh is to Obama’s left.

On Saturday, Rep. Edolphus Towns, D-NY, who chairs the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, called for a review of Secret Service practices and asked for a briefing this week.

Agency spokesmen declined to comment on reports that agents had visited the Salahis’ vineyard in Hume, Va., in search of the couple. Voice mail messages left Saturday at two separate telephone numbers for the Oasis Winery, south of Washington, were not immediately returned.

It is unclear what the couple told officers at the checkpoint that allowed them to go through the security screening. The Salahis lawyer, Paul Gardner, posted a comment on their Facebook page saying his clients were cleared by the White House to be at the dinner.

Sharpton wants NFL to block Limbaugh’s Rams bid

What do my readers think of this article?

NEW YORK (AP) – The Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson attacked the bid by Rush Limbaugh to buy the St. Louis Rams on Monday, saying the conservative radio host’s track record on race should exclude him from owning an NFL team.

Sharpton sent a letter to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, arguing that Limbaugh has been divisive and “anti-NFL” in some of his comments.

Jackson said in a telephone interview that Limbaugh had made his wealth “appealing to the fears of whites” with an unending line of insults against blacks and other minorities.

The National Football League has set high standards for racial justice and inclusion,” Jackson said. “He should not have the privilege of owning an NFL franchise – and it is a privilege.” The civil rights leader said he’s had contact with numerous players and ex-players concerned about the bid.

Limbaugh shot back at Sharpton on his radio show.

“Now, this saddens me as well this disappoints me,” he said. “I know Rev. Sharpton. Sharpton is better than this. He knows better than this. You know, I didn’t judge Al Sharpton’s fitness to be in radio when he wanted to earn an honest living for once, given his well-documented past as the author of the Tawana Brawley hoax. I believe in freedom and I also don’t discriminate.”

Limbaugh said last week that he is teaming up with St. Louis Blues hockey team owner Dave Checketts in a bid to buy the Rams. He has declined to discuss details of the offer, citing a confidentiality agreement.

In 2003, Limbaugh worked briefly on ESPN’s NFL pregame show. He resigned after saying Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb was overrated because the media wanted to see a black quarterback succeed.

Transcripts posted on the radio host’s Web site also say that on a January 2007 show, Limbaugh commented: “The NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it.”

Asked about Limbaugh’s bid to purchase the winless Rams, McNabb said: “If he’s rewarded to buy them, congratulations to him. But I won’t be in St. Louis any time soon.”

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said the league is aware of the concerns voiced by Sharpton and Jackson.

“It is very early in the process and no transfer of ownership of the Rams has been presented to the league for review,” Aiello said.

The latest complaints came a day after executive director of the NFL Players Association, DeMaurice Smith, urged players to speak out against Limbaugh’s bid.

“I have asked our players to embrace their roles not only in the game of football but also as players and partners in the business of the NFL,” Smith said in a statement Sunday. “They risk everything to play this game, they understand that risk and they live with that risk and its consequences for the rest of their life.

“We also know that there is an ugly part of history and we will not risk going backwards, giving up giving in or lying down to it.”

Players on the 0-5 Rams, who were routed by the Minnesota Vikings 38-10 on Sunday, tried to distance themselves from the controversy.

“I’m paying attention, but I’m not even touching that one,” running back Steven Jackson said. “Because if I start touching it I might go somewhere I don’t want to go.”

Defensive end Chris Long said he just heard Monday that Limbaugh was part of a group seeking to purchase the team. His reaction: “Oh, is that the guy on the radio?”

Reminded of Limbaugh’s statements about McNabb, Long seemed to disapprove while adding he didn’t care who owned the team.

“I mean, those weren’t great comments at all,” Long said. “But it’s not my job to really comment on that.”

Defensive end Leonard Little, the last remaining player from the Rams‘ Super Bowl championship after the 1999 season, didn’t want to talk about it.

“We’ve got a lot more things to worry about than who’s going to be our owner,” he said.

SMH

Kwame Kilpatrick’s Lifestyle In Question

Kwame Kilpatrick just can’t seem to catch a break. The former Mayor of Detroit claims to have cleaned up his lifestyle and is on probation in Texas. Now he has 10 days to hand over financial records to prosecutors that claim he’s violated his probation and is hiding funds owed to his former city.

Since his infamous days in the headlines Kwame’s been relatively quietly. He’s been working as an account executive at Compuware Covisint in south Texas, concentrating on health care. Now after he’s been spotted driving around in “fancy cars” like his Cadillac Escalade and living in a million dollar mansion, prosecutors are curious.

Kilpatrick’s attorney is defending his client however saying that the Escalade was a “gift” and should not be reported to the city. No word on the mansion. Kilpatrick will have to make an appearance in court October 29 to clear his name.

When Kilpatrick pleaded guilty to charges of assault and obstruction of justice, he agreed to pay the city of Detroit $1 million in restitution while serving five years of probation. He’s been ordered to pay $6,000 a month toward his debt.