I have enough

I do a lot of reflecting throughout the day. My mind drifts and I just allow it. I dont care if I’m far off or right on point; I’ve learned to allow my mind to run free. It’s so refreshing and rejuvenating.

You know one would think I have a lot to complain about with everything I’ve been through. But why? Why complain? What’s there to complain about? Everybody has been through something or going through something so what’s so special about me? That’s rhetorical for surely I’m somebody. Somebody special. A woman, a mother, a sister, and a friend amongst other things. But what I’ve learned is that if I can’t be of help or assistance it doesn’t really need to be said.

I could go on and on and speak on my two failed marriages. I could speak on how my first spouse molested my daughter or how my second spouse had a child on me but I have to give you those stories when I’m able to give you the details so that it’s not just a story. But instead it’s a message that can actually help someone by knowing my story. For everything we go through there is a message. A lesson to be learned. And often times it’s not about the person in the story at all.

But what I want to share with you today is everything you need in life is already within you. You have enough right now to make it through any and everything that has or will come upon you. I know often times when we’re going through it doesn’t feel that way but we have to stop living off our feelings. They serve their purpose but you have to go deeper and know that you know that you’re equipped. You have the tools. You have the mind. The weapons. The wherewithal to handle anything that comes up. You just have to believe it.

I’ve learned that seeking outside help from others don’t help you. Often times they just want to know you business anyways. Most of the people you’re seeking help from are in situations just like you or worst. The difference is they not gone tell you their business. So from trial and error I’ve learned not to seek outside help unless it’s via prayer and/or counseling. But my blog is a place where I can be transparent and vent openly. It’s a judge free zone for me. That doesn’t mean I’m not being judged but like most, hiding behind my little WordPress is so therapeutic.

This last picture sums up my post. I pray today that you’re encouraged. Breathe. It’s okay. Deal with whatever you’re going through. Don’t lay it by the side thinking it’ll go away. Work through it. You are capable. As a matter of fact you are more than capable. You are ABLE. 💗🥰

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The Serenity Prayer

Woke up this morning and literally the phrase “help me Lord to accept the things I can’t change” were on my lips as I begin to get situated. So I typed it in a search engine and the serenity prayer came up. I found this beautiful picture of it. I sent it to my friends and my children with excitement. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

Now I know everybody has heard of this prayer. We’ve sent it to people to encourage and uplift them during their hard times. We’ve even prayed it. But today it became life. The words literally strengthened me. Like made my body parts move. Gave me energy. Put some pep in my step. I was elated. I want to tell the entire world that I’ve got the victory. I dont know about you but I don’t wake up like this daily.

So as I was sending this picture out people begin to send me uplifting thoughts. Songs. Prayers. And words of encouragement. I hear a lot of folks talk about karma and the universe but I strictly believe in you reap what you sow and the Holy Ghost. So I knew immediately that I was reaping what I was sowing. And that right there gave me the victory.

I started this post on yesterday and got busy and saved it. Today I’m continuing it and let me say I’m in that same spirit today. I’m loving it, to the tune of the McDonald’s theme song. 🎶🎶🎶. When you position yourself for greatness it MUST come to past. I’m getting out of my own way. Leaving the past behind and focusing on my NOW. I finished the book, The Alchemist, and knew right then that now is the time. Stop dwelling on the past. Let it go. Live for right now. Not tomorrow but for right now. And I know it’s only been two days but guess what I’m taking it.

So to my readers please leave the past behind you. Leave it along. You’ve heard everything it has to say. It doesn’t have a new message. Let it go. Live in the now. Take one step at a time literally. Be encouraged.

This morning

I woke up this morning feeling different. I’ve been living in a state of fear and this morning I woke up feeling different. It was a feeling of “girl get it together”. It was sort of an odd feeling but I thank God for it.

Fear is such a crippling emotion. Once you fall into it you can’t even move or think right. You’re like frozen. There is a scripture in the Bible that says God didn’t give us a spirit of fear. I totally get it now. Without a sound mind you’re lost. I dont care how many degrees you have. How huge your vocabulary is. It doesn’t matter. You are not able to advance any agenda if you’re working in fear.

So I decree on this day that I will not walk in fear anymore. When and if it tries to return I’ll use the tools I’ve learned in therapy to overcome it. I’ll pray. I’ll meditate. I’ll journal. I’ll go for a walk or something but I will NOT stay in the state fear. I will NOT.

You know in life you’ll experience various things and guess what? That’s okay. But during or in the experience please make sure that you’re growing. Don’t become stagnant. Don’t let it make you bitter or angry. Fight through it. Life is not as short as people say it is. But life is very valuable. And if you’re able to experience it, do just that. Experience IT. Be open to the challenges. But don’t let it become a wave that takes you under. There are tools that can help you overcome what ever challenges comes upon you.

I encourage you to visit my blog and read these post. Come back whenever you feel the need to. I’m here to help and not judge. The word of God teaches me that we overcome by the words of our testimonies and by the blood of the lamb. So I don’t mind sharing with the world my testimonies if my savior will get the victory and if I can help someone. Don’t be out here thinking you’re alone. That’s a trick of the enemy to getting you feeling you alone. But let me tell you you’re not alone. Just this past Saturday I got so low I wanted to just sleep away, literally. That’s a dangerous place. I’m always in a state of encouraging myself and I’d love to encourage you.

Be blessed my beautiful readers. This too shall pass. And guess what? If you keep pressing your way hopefully you’ll see a new day tomorrow and you’ll be blessed with some new mercy and grace and that right there will be the strength you need to move on. Don’t give up and don’t look be. Be encouraged!

Stop Complaining!

Things happen. Life happens. And it’s so easy to get into a complaining spirit. I’m guilty of it myself. I’ve been through a lot. And when I find myself complaining I have to rebuke myself. Man Jesus has been too good to me to complain is what I begin to think. It’s so easy when things don’t go my way for me to start looking at all the things that’s going wrong. Then I start blaming folks for what they are or are not doing. When all along if I just take a step back and look at the grand picture I have absolutely NOTHING to complain about. Even with everything that’s going wrong I still have life. My mind is still functioning. I’m able to do for myself. Probably not like times past but still I’m able. It’s times like this where I have to stop and simply encourage myself. These little light afflictions that comes up in our lives are not for destruction. Focus I tell myself. Let it go! Be grateful. Be thankful. Jesus has been too good to you. Stop all this foolishness. And I begin to smile.

Isn’t it funny how our minds will just take control if we don’t bring it under subjection! You ARE totally in control of what flows through your mind. But you have to work at it. Don’t be so quick to cave into your mind when it’s taking you down stream. You know you’re blessed. You know it. So start controlling that ole mind of yours. You have it in you.

What do you do when you find yourself in a dump complaining about stuff? How long do you allow yourself to stay there? Talk to me. Be encouraged.

Change

I’m really working on me like never before. I mean I’m praying more. Going to natural counseling to deal with old demons that I’ve never confronted. I’m forgiving those that have hurt me and asking Jesus to help them. This is not easy but it’s needed. I wish I would have started years earlier but it’s okay. Better late than never. And guess what? Day by day I’m feeling better.

What are working on in your life? Have you forgiven those that have caused you harm? Even yourself? I realized I hadn’t forgiven myself for several things. But my goal is to walk in peace and love. I also realize I can’t live in those spirits if my inside is jacked up. And it’s been jacked up a long time. Looking at others and not looking at myself. So on today I encourage us all to look our own faults and others faults and see the need. Work on yourself. Press daily to be a better you than you were yesterday. That should be your ONLY competition. Be encouraged on today.

Encourage Yourself

The word of God teaches us that sometimes you going to have to encourage yourself. That is exactly what I’ve been doing. There have been trying times in my life and I’m having to encouraging myself daily. I have to stay focused of the bigger prize and not look back. That looking back will kill your vibe. It’s detrimental to my success.

I thank God on today because he’s been keeping me. Every time an issue arises I’m able to deal with it better. For the most part I’m not allowing the issue to consume me. I’m starting to see it for what it’s worth. That might mean nothing to others but it means a lot to me. Because day by day I’m getting my strength back. I’m being uplifted. I’m truly learning to think it not strange. Now this doesn’t mean that I don’t have emotions pop up. But it does mean that I’m working through those emotions more effectively than I previously did. Remember that post about the fetal position? Well I’m not going into the fetal position. So I’m just thankful for the progress that I’m making.

The photo above is true. I don’t have to cry about the issues that arise in my life for I know that Jesus is already working it out in my favor. See what I’ve learned to do is to stop putting so much focus on my issues. That’s a strategy that’s not healthy. Because the more you focus on a particular thing the bigger it gets. So what I’ve started to do is what Philippians 4:8 teaches us to do and that is to think of things that uplift me and encourage me. Now don’t get me wrong you still have to deal with your issues but what I’m saying is don’t be consumed by them. Give the issue a time frame to work through it and then go back to thinking on other happier things. This is what works for me.

So to you my reader what do you do when you feel yourself drowning in an issue or situation? How do you work through those upheavals in your life? Leave me a comment.

Letting it go

Life happens right? Well that being the case let it go and move on. Right? Well what if that’s not the right thing to do? What if you’re not suppose to move on and let it go? Should you fight for what you want and if so for how long? Can situations change? Can people change? Can YOU change? Let’s talk about it.

I’ve not blogged in about a week because guess what? Life has been happening. I’ve had decisions to make. I’ve had to do things and say things. I dont know if I’ve made the right decisions but I’ve made them and I’ve decided to move forward. But what does moving forward really look like? What does it feel like? For me I still think about my decisions. I still feel some kind of way behind the decisions I’ve made. So what does that mean? Does it mean I made a mistake? I dont know the answers to these questions so I’m blogging in hopes of getting feed back from you, the reader.

I’m here to speak and share my truth. I’ve been taught that you make a decision you deal with it and suffer the consequences and move forward. However after 40 something years of living I dont know if that’s the correct way. My counselor tells me to live within my emotions. For example if I’m feeling scared or sad or depressed or whatever she told me to take time and feel each of those emotions. So since I’m paying I’m trying my hardest to follow her lead. So what does it feel like to live in the emotion of sadness? I can tell you that it doesn’t feel good. I ask myself why are you doing this? My answer is because my counselor told me to. And I’m thinking if my way hasn’t worked all these years why not try her way. However how do I even know that my way wasn’t working? So many questions huh?

Betrayal, how do you live in that emotion? What does that feel like? It hurts. It makes you see the person that betrayed you different. It almost or shall I say it makes you hate the betrayer. Is that a word, betrayer? When living in the emotions should it make you feel hate towards someone or something? I mean I honestly don’t know so I’m seriously asking. Thought we were suppose to love everybody. Lol. No but serious. Perhaps the reason why I never lived in my feelings is because of the pain that you experience. For me it’s easier to just move on instead of basking in a particular pain.

Anyways talk to me. Tell me what you think about letting go. About living in your emotions. Dealings with hardship and upheavals. Talk to me. Should we or should we not let it go?

#letitgo #life #emotions #therapy #counseling #sad #depressed #betrayal #prayer #faith #experiences #blog #blogger #blogging #truth #speakyourtruth #share #talk

Are you Arrogant of Confident?

Personal Branding

There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. This is especially true given both entail a strong belief in one’s own abilities. When it comes to the results they provoke, however, that’s where the similarities end.

Confidence is inspiring; arrogance is a turn-off.

Confidence gets hired; arrogance is shown the door.

Building confidence takes work; arrogance is simple. In fact, it’s easy to come off as arrogant. Avoid these 10 behaviors so you don’t leave the impression of being a Class-A jerk people would rather avoid instead of the confident leader they want to follow.

1. Drop names out of context.

The name-dropper is a character who frequents many local Chamber of Commerce mixers. Name-droppers are a dime a dozen. Completely unsolicited, they will jabber endlessly about who they know, who they met and who they pal around with. As a journalist, I interview many great business leaders, one of whom was Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz. Bringing up his name in a presentation about leadership is appropriate; talking about Schultz with a barista at my local Starbucks is arrogant.

2. Avoid eye contact.

Arrogant people could care less about others. They’re only interested in themselves. The arrogant person will constantly be looking past you for someone else to talk to — someone they think will benefit them more than you. Confident leaders look you in the eye and make you feel as though you’re the most important person in the room.

3. Arrive consistently late to meetings … and don’t apologize.

Arrogant people think their time is more important than anybody else’s. Being late means nothing to them. Confident leaders are timely and quick to apologize when they’re off schedule.

4. Use condescending phrases and put-downs.

Some well-known business leaders have been known to put down others with phrases like “that’s stupid” or “you’re a bozo.” These particular leaders are supremely confident, of course, but they’ve crossed the line into arrogance. I worked for one famous broadcast executive who routinely demeaned his employees and colleagues. Before long there was a massive brain drain from his department. He was bright ; ambitious; and yes, confident. But his arrogance turned so many people off that he lost the loyalty of his team (and ultimately his position).

 

5. Strut or swagger when you walk into a room.

The best way to describe arrogant body language is “dominating.” Examples include pointing a finger at someone’s chest, hands on hips or waving someone off with a flick of the finger. Confidence is open and less intimidating.

 

6. Interrupt conversations … frequently.

Since arrogant people are only concerned about themselves, they’re not really listening to you. Not only are they always on the lookout for someone else to talk to, they interrupt the conversation frequently

7. Have an answer for everything..

Psychologists say that arrogance is a compensation for insecurities and weaknesses. An arrogant person will rarely say, “I don’t know the answer, but I’ll find out.” Confident people admit mistakes and learn something from those experiences.

 

10. Always one-up the other person.

The other day I was speaking to someone who has a reputation for arrogance, and I noticed a common theme in his conversation with me — he always tried to one-up everything I said. For example, when the conversation turned to a documentary that I had recently seen on sharks, this man said, “That’s nothing, I swim with sharks.” This trait in arrogant people is so common that the famous Dilbert cartoon strip has a recurring character named “Topper.” Confident people don’t feel the need to brag. Their accomplishments do it for them.

 

11. Blast competitors.

Arrogant people can’t see the strengths in their competitors, and if they do, they seek to minimize those competitors by bad-mouthing them. This simply makes the arrogant person look even smaller. I recently overheard a woman talking to a recruiter and saying vicious things about her former company as well as other companies in the industry. The recruiter listened patiently. When the woman left, I leaned over and asked the recruiter what he thought. He simply rolled his eyes. Take the high road so you don’t get the eye roll.

 

12. Blame someone else.

Arrogant people can’t ’fess up to their own mistakes. Watch America’s Top Model with Tyra Banks. The most arrogant young wannabes are the ones who blame others for not taking a good photograph — it’s either the fault of the photographer or the makeup artist. Needless to say, they don’t last long, even in an industry that has more than its share of divas.

Some famous business leaders are unquestionably arrogant — people about whom you may have heard or for whom you work. But the vast majority of inspiring leaders are confident, not arrogant. Be a leader people want to follow and not one people would rather avoid.

If you are doing this, then STOP

Personal BrandingIt’s so easy to get your name out these days. But to what end? Just like all corporate-branding plans, your personal-branding activities need to be a part of a well-conceived strategy — one that will help you achieve your goals and increase your professional fulfillment.

As I watch people build their personal brands on the Web, I see a lot of personal-branding disasters — efforts that detract from brand value rather than increase it. Here are the personal-branding mistakes I see repeated over and over. Avoid them to build a powerful and compelling presence that increases your brand equity.

1. Be fake.

Personal branding is not about fabricating a persona; strong personal brands are based in authenticity. You can’t start building your brand until you understand who you are, what you want and what makes you exceptional. What are your superpowers? What do others think about you? Don’t create an image; be yourself — your best self. As writer/aviator Anne Morrow Lindbergh once said, “The most exhausting thing you can be is inauthentic.”

2. Be wishy-washy.

Trying to be all things to all people is the opposite of branding. Strong brands take a stand and often repel as many people as they attract. You need to know what you want to communicate and how that message differs from what your peers are communicating. What’s your area of thought leadership? What’s your position? How do you want to express your personality? Answer these questions, and stick to your guns.

3. Act before you think.

Thanks to the availability and ease of social media, you can increase your visibility very quickly. But visibility is not the same as effective personal branding. If you don’t have a clear plan — a message that you want to communicate consistently along with a strategy for expressing yourself — you will create confusion rather than build a fan club. Personal branding requires thinking before acting. What’s your overall communications plan? Which communications vehicles are the best for you? How will you link your communications activities? Answer these questions before putting finger to key!

4. Talk just for the sake of it.

I see some people tweet multiple times an hour — re-tweeting anything they see, reposting their own tweets — just to seem like they have a lot to say. And I’ve seen similar misguided fervor on blogs. People can see through this. It’s better to make a few high-quality posts to your blog or tweets that add value to your brand community than to be associated with content that is vapid, regurgitated or stale. Create content when you have something thoughtful to say that is valuable to your brand community and reinforces what you want people to know about you. Quality trumps quantity.

5. Aim for as many contacts as possible.

Branding is not about fame; it’s about selective fame. The only people who need to know you are those decision-makers and influencers who can help you reach your goals. Trying to be everywhere with your message will exhaust you without adding much value to your brand. Think about your target audience, then research the best places on the Web to express yourself. The scattershot approach isn’t very effective … and it isn’t very fulfilling, either.

6. Switch tools often.

Social media is attractive. So attractive that some people jump onto the latest social-media tool with reckless abandon. I was speaking with an executive the other day who told me that he was a big fan of social media. When LinkedIn came along, he worked hard to connect with everyone he ever met. After time, he lost interest. Then Facebook gained prominence; he began “friending” all his LinkedIn contacts, and he updated his status hourly. He became tired of this as well and switched his attention to Twitter. This approach will not only wear you out, it will do little to build brand value. Choose the social-media tools you are going to use and commit to using them regularly.

7. Forget traditional vehicles.

The ubiquity of social media has convinced some that personal branding is an exclusively Web-based activity. Sure, social media has made it much easier to express yourself to a much larger audience, but it doesn’t replace real-world relationships and communications.

I started my personal-branding business, Reach, almost a decade ago — long before Facebook, blogs and Twitter existed. Before social media, personal branding was focused on real-world activities, like public speaking and publishing books. A lot has changed in the world of personal branding since I founded Reach, but the core principles remain the same.

Those who are most effective in building their brands combine the real with the virtual. They continue to write and provide content for traditional media; they speak publicly, attend professional association events, volunteer for professional organizations, sit on boards and so on. The trick is to connect the real and the virtual — expanding what you are doing locally by making it visible on the Web.

8. Do it yourself.

If you think people who are making decisions about you are impressed by the photo your mother took of you at last year’s family picnic or the poor-quality video you posted to YouTube, you’re fooling yourself. You need to invest in services and tools that will help you present your best self. The New York Times said it best in its article about video resumes: “A well-produced video can send the message that the applicant is both professional and on top of new technology, while something that looks like a home video can send the opposite message.”If it’s really important to you, invest in the right resources — career coaches, resume-writing services, Web designers, video producers and more. Sure, there are costs involved in these services; but what’s the cost to you of damaging your reputation with poor-quality copy, images and video?

9. Talk about yourself

Personal branding is about giving to your brand community — value, insights, feedback, recognition. I see so many people confusing social media with billboard advertising — blatantly promoting their services 24/7. As social media expert Chris Brogan says (I’m paraphrasing) : Use the 12:1 ratio — make 12 posts about your brand community for every one that is about you. Just as people use TiVo to skip TV ads, people will start to tune you out if you come across as an immodest self-promoter.

10. Don’t measure your efforts.

Are you spending a lot of time implementing your personal-branding plan without asking yourself, “How is this helping me reach my goals?” I spent 20 years in corporate marketing and branding, and one of the most important parts of any campaign we launched was metrics. You need some way to evaluate your progress and see if your efforts are paying off. Decide on what metrics you will use up front (onlineIDCalculator .com, Klout.net or another tool), and establish a baseline. Then remember to measure progress along the way. Have you increased the volume and relevance of your Google results? Are you growing your brand community with the right people?

If you avoid these brand-busters and focus on being your best (high-quality) self — on- and offline — you’ll bolster your brand with everything you do.

William Arruda [www.williamarruda. com]is a personal-branding consultant and public speaker. He is the founder of Reach Personal Branding [www.reachpersonalb randing.com] and coauthor of the bestselling book, “Career Distinction: Stand Out by Building Your Brand” (J. Wiley).
 

Blogging

Do you blog?  If so what about?  How often do you blog?  Do you have a blog page for every particular industry/topic that you blog about? 

These are questions that are asked by people that are thinking/interested in blogging.  Different people will tell you different answers to these questions as well.  However I will tell you based on my experience and research it is very important that once you begin to blog that you keep it up.  It’s vital that once you put your blog out there and get attention that you keep it updated and free from grammar errors. 

I don’t think that in order to have a successful blog that you have to ONLY blog about one particular topic.  However if you have a professional blog that is directly pertaining to your professional business then it is in your best interest to blog only about your professional business.

Blogging is very theraputic.  However it can be very educational, inspirational, and you can tell about your own professional interest as well.  The main thing about blogging is simply start!  Waiting for this or that is simply not wise.  So begin to blog.   Start blogging and adjust accordingly.  Your blog site should give you some stats as to how many people are coming by regardless to if they are leaving comments.  So for example if after a week or two you are not getting any activity it may be wise or in your best interest to try something else unless you are blogging on your professional topic.  Surely you would want to give it more then a 2 week minimum.  

So the key is to begin some where.  So go ahead start blogging, why not!!

Sandra Parks