Thoughts, Ideas, and Concepts by Sandra Parks

Posts tagged ‘sex’

30 Things I Love About Being Single Right Now

Back when I was in a relationship, there were a few things I missed about being a single girl. I had been in a great relationship with myself for two years and for all the pleasures of having a boyfriend, I also missed some parts of my former life. Now that I’m Jessica, Party of One, again, I think it’s time to revisit some of the single girl stuff I have to celebrate…

  1. I have the whole bed all to myself.
  2. No one makes a face when I bite my fingernails. (Although really, I should stop doing that.)
  3. I’m eating eating less meat because I barely ever cook it for myself.
  4. No one is scratching their balls and then touching the remote control/fridge door/pillows. At least, I don’t think anyone is.
  5. Lots of uninterrupted vibrator time.
  6. I don’t feel guilty about the smell when I paint my nails.
  7. Not washing anyone else’s laundry or dishes!
  8. I don’t have to worry about being cheated on because there is no one to cheat!
  9. When I wear sweatpants to bed, no one complains about it.
  10. The Millionaire Matchmaker” can play for an entire hour without anyone whining.
  11. Who cares how hairy my legs and armpits are? Not me.
  12. I’m the only one using my expensive shampoo and conditioner.
  13. I made out with a cute guy on a date last week and I really like him!
  14. No more roommates I don’t get along with.
  15. I feel more kinship with other single women — Frisky staff what what!
  16. I’ve seen more of my sisters, my nieces, my nephew and my parents than I have in the whole two years that I was in a relationship.
  17. I can blog about whatever I want regarding my personal life and no one will ask me to explain it later.
  18. Weekends are for me and my family, not anyone else’s.
  19. The next time I go to the movies, I’m almost decidedly seeing a chick flick.
  20. I wake up when my alarm clock goes off without someone pressuring me to hit snooze and give them a little somethin’-somethin’.
  21. Lipstick, lip gloss and lip balm actually stay on my lips now.
  22. Spending about half as much on coffee, seeing as I’m not offernig to buy it for someone all the time.
  23. Sleeping with my childhood teddy bear again … without shame.
  24. Don’t have to share the iPad (or as we used to call it, “the baby”) with anyone.
  25. Flirting without guilt.
  26. My parents’ dog doesn’t have anyone to embarrass me in front of by trying to hump his leg.
  27. Deepening friendships and making new friends with all my free time.
  28. I don’t have to shower as much.
  29. No one has asked me why I need so many shoes, clothes, books, magazines, or TV shows in the TiVo queue. I just do, OK?
  30. NO FOOTBALL!
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Cowboys back in the News Again!!!

A woman claims in a lawsuit filed only days before the Super Bowl that former Dallas Cowboys star Michael Irvin sexually assaulted her at a South Florida hotel, an allegation labeled a false attempt at “civil extortion” Friday by Irvin’s attorney.

The woman, identified only as “Jane Doe,” filed the lawsuit Thursday in Broward County Circuit Court seeking unspecified damages for the assault that allegedly occurred July 4 or 5, 2007, at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood.

The incident was reported to Seminole tribal police on July 20, 2007, but the woman later signed a waiver of prosecution, Seminole tribe spokesman Gary Bitner said.

“I think she just wanted to put this behind her,” Bitner said. The case was referred to state prosecutors.

Ron Ishoy, a spokesman for the Broward State Attorney’s office, said the matter remains under investigation but no charges have been filed. Because the woman waited more than two weeks to report the incident, there was no physical evidence or hotel surveillance video, Bitner said.

Irvin, 43, is a member of the pro football Hall of Fame who starred at wide receiver for the Cowboys from 1988 to 1999. The Fort Lauderdale native was also a star in college for the University of Miami, playing on the Hurricanes’ 1987 national championship team.

Irvin is now an analyst for the NFL Network. His attorney, Larry Friedman of Dallas, said he was approached by the woman’s attorney shortly before Irvin was to appear on last season’s “Dancing With The Stars” competition.

The offer, according to Friedman: Irvin must pay the woman $1 million or a lawsuit would be filed to coincide with the Super Bowl, which is being played Sunday in Miami.

“I call it civil extortion: pay us or we’ll ruin your life,” Friedman said. “Nothing happened. There was no encounter between this Jane Doe and Michael Irvin. The entire story is false, it’s bogus, it’s made up.”

The woman’s Florida attorney did not immediately respond Friday to a phone call and e-mail seeking comment.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, speaking at a Super Bowl news conference Friday, said he was not aware of the assault allegation. The NFL Network is a part of the football league.

“We’ll obviously take it seriously, make sure we understand the facts and then take the appropriate steps,” Goodell said.

According to the lawsuit, the woman claims Irvin got her drunk and took her to his hotel room where he and another, unidentified man insisted on sexual favors. The woman claims Irvin raped her and the other man forced her to perform oral sex.

Irvin has had previous brushes with the law, including a no-contest plea to a cocaine possession charge in 1996. Later that year, Irvin and another Cowboys player were accused of sexual assault by a woman, but an investigation found the story was false and the woman recanted.

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