I have enough

I do a lot of reflecting throughout the day. My mind drifts and I just allow it. I dont care if I’m far off or right on point; I’ve learned to allow my mind to run free. It’s so refreshing and rejuvenating.

You know one would think I have a lot to complain about with everything I’ve been through. But why? Why complain? What’s there to complain about? Everybody has been through something or going through something so what’s so special about me? That’s rhetorical for surely I’m somebody. Somebody special. A woman, a mother, a sister, and a friend amongst other things. But what I’ve learned is that if I can’t be of help or assistance it doesn’t really need to be said.

I could go on and on and speak on my two failed marriages. I could speak on how my first spouse molested my daughter or how my second spouse had a child on me but I have to give you those stories when I’m able to give you the details so that it’s not just a story. But instead it’s a message that can actually help someone by knowing my story. For everything we go through there is a message. A lesson to be learned. And often times it’s not about the person in the story at all.

But what I want to share with you today is everything you need in life is already within you. You have enough right now to make it through any and everything that has or will come upon you. I know often times when we’re going through it doesn’t feel that way but we have to stop living off our feelings. They serve their purpose but you have to go deeper and know that you know that you’re equipped. You have the tools. You have the mind. The weapons. The wherewithal to handle anything that comes up. You just have to believe it.

I’ve learned that seeking outside help from others don’t help you. Often times they just want to know you business anyways. Most of the people you’re seeking help from are in situations just like you or worst. The difference is they not gone tell you their business. So from trial and error I’ve learned not to seek outside help unless it’s via prayer and/or counseling. But my blog is a place where I can be transparent and vent openly. It’s a judge free zone for me. That doesn’t mean I’m not being judged but like most, hiding behind my little WordPress is so therapeutic.

This last picture sums up my post. I pray today that you’re encouraged. Breathe. It’s okay. Deal with whatever you’re going through. Don’t lay it by the side thinking it’ll go away. Work through it. You are capable. As a matter of fact you are more than capable. You are ABLE. 💗🥰

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Trouble Don’t Last Always

Just told someone that and thought I’d come say a few things today. First off let me say that I’m so blessed and thankful to be going to church tonight. I’m going with expectation in my heart because I know I’m going to get a word for my soul tonight. You know just like our natural bodies need food our spiritual bodies need food too and I’m blessed that I’m able to get both.

Okay now about this trouble don’t last always post. It’s true. Nothing last forever. At some point everything comes to an end. Either they/it die or they/it stop. So just knowing that strengthen me. Also having trouble arise is your life is a blessing. I know you maybe reading this like heifer are you crazy? Yes I am but what I’m saying is the truth. Just think about it. If trouble never came your way you’d be stagnant. You’d never move or do something different because in your mind you’ll be thinking everything is okay. Trust me. Been there done that. But when trouble comes it makes you think. It’s uncomfortable. You start moving around. I think most importantly when trouble comes most will call on the name of Jesus. Perhaps out of fear. Nevertheless most do just that, Jesus help me. Be honest. Think about the last time something got under your skin. I’ll wait.

Okay now don’t agree? Didn’t that trouble move you in some direction? I dont know what direction you went in but you moved. I had a close friend guy tell me last summer that we are either in a situation, coming out of a situation, or about to go through a situation. And as I think about it, that’s so true. If you’re able to keep living this is the cycle. Don’t know when but one thing for sure the life cycle is real. So what I’m learning to do is embrace the journey. The one thing I know now that I can control within any situation that I find myself in is my response to the situation. My reaction. How I handle it. That’s what I can control. NOT the life cycle itself. But my response to it is totally in my control.

My people life is awesome. Even when you’re in the lion den, trust me life is awesome. I’ve been there. So I’m not talking about what my grandmother told me. I’m writing from experience.

So I want you to be encouraged on today. Hold your head up high. Walk in your victory. Believe in yourself. Let it go. Forgive.

You don’t know my story

A lot of people know of me but very few know me. I like it this way too. What you see is not what you always get with me. I can be a complicated person and sometimes by choice. With that being said I love me some me.

I’ve been through a lot. Perhaps no more than anyone else but I’ve been through a lot. I’ve been so low at times where I wanted to give up the ghost; But God. I’ve also been so high where I was like that temptation song, walking on cloud 9.

I’ve been talked about. Somethings have been true and some false. I’ve been loved and I’ve been disliked. I’ve been hurt by people that I thought really loved me. But I’ve also been uplifted by those that do love me. I’ve been encouraged. I’ve had people praying for me when I couldn’t pray for myself. You ask, “how do I know?” Because there were times where I felt my strength coming when I was physically weak.

I’ve had designer clothes, shoes, and handbags, luxury cars and 5000 square feet homes. My children have gone to private schools and we’ve traveled the world. I’ve had million dollar insurance policies and hundreds of thousands of dollars in accounts, banks and investment houses. I’ve had and I’ve lost.

I say all this to say I wouldn’t trade my journey. Every scare. Every pain. The ups and the downs have made me the woman I am today. I’m able to forgive people when they hurt me to the core and honestly still love them. The compassion that Jesus has placed in my heart sometimes don’t make sense. I don’t even understand it. But I’m so grateful for it. And as Philippians 4:12 says, I’ve learned how to be abased and I’ve learned how to abound. For this I’m grateful.

Help is on the way

What a week it’s been. I’m so grateful and thankful for my life. The good and the bad. The pretty and the ugly. I’m thankful for continued growth and strength. I’m thankful that my good days outweigh my bad days. Thankful for friends and family. Thankful for employment. Thankful for salvation. For wisdom. For love and compassion. I’m just thankful on this evening and wanted to share it with the world.

See some folks hide behind so much stuff. Some folks want to be things that they’re not only to win over folks that they don’t even need in their lives but their too silly to see it. I want to encourage you on this evening and let you know help is on the way. Be YOU. Be thankful for your life journey. The mistakes and all. For its making you if you allow it. Don’t regret nothing that you’ve experienced. Embrace it. Now I’m not saying to continue to walk foolishly but I’m saying when life knocks you down get back up. And do it quickly.

Set some goals for this week. Write them down. Take day by day. Visit your goals daily. Don’t be so hard on yourself if you don’t accomplish them all. The goal is to set some goals and diligently seek to accomplish them day by day. Focus on the internal more than the external. And work on YOU instead of worrying about others. Stay in the moment. Don’t give a lot of thought for the next day. And whatever you do don’t look back. And with that please be encouraged.

This morning

I woke up this morning feeling different. I’ve been living in a state of fear and this morning I woke up feeling different. It was a feeling of “girl get it together”. It was sort of an odd feeling but I thank God for it.

Fear is such a crippling emotion. Once you fall into it you can’t even move or think right. You’re like frozen. There is a scripture in the Bible that says God didn’t give us a spirit of fear. I totally get it now. Without a sound mind you’re lost. I dont care how many degrees you have. How huge your vocabulary is. It doesn’t matter. You are not able to advance any agenda if you’re working in fear.

So I decree on this day that I will not walk in fear anymore. When and if it tries to return I’ll use the tools I’ve learned in therapy to overcome it. I’ll pray. I’ll meditate. I’ll journal. I’ll go for a walk or something but I will NOT stay in the state fear. I will NOT.

You know in life you’ll experience various things and guess what? That’s okay. But during or in the experience please make sure that you’re growing. Don’t become stagnant. Don’t let it make you bitter or angry. Fight through it. Life is not as short as people say it is. But life is very valuable. And if you’re able to experience it, do just that. Experience IT. Be open to the challenges. But don’t let it become a wave that takes you under. There are tools that can help you overcome what ever challenges comes upon you.

I encourage you to visit my blog and read these post. Come back whenever you feel the need to. I’m here to help and not judge. The word of God teaches me that we overcome by the words of our testimonies and by the blood of the lamb. So I don’t mind sharing with the world my testimonies if my savior will get the victory and if I can help someone. Don’t be out here thinking you’re alone. That’s a trick of the enemy to getting you feeling you alone. But let me tell you you’re not alone. Just this past Saturday I got so low I wanted to just sleep away, literally. That’s a dangerous place. I’m always in a state of encouraging myself and I’d love to encourage you.

Be blessed my beautiful readers. This too shall pass. And guess what? If you keep pressing your way hopefully you’ll see a new day tomorrow and you’ll be blessed with some new mercy and grace and that right there will be the strength you need to move on. Don’t give up and don’t look be. Be encouraged!

Stop Complaining!

Things happen. Life happens. And it’s so easy to get into a complaining spirit. I’m guilty of it myself. I’ve been through a lot. And when I find myself complaining I have to rebuke myself. Man Jesus has been too good to me to complain is what I begin to think. It’s so easy when things don’t go my way for me to start looking at all the things that’s going wrong. Then I start blaming folks for what they are or are not doing. When all along if I just take a step back and look at the grand picture I have absolutely NOTHING to complain about. Even with everything that’s going wrong I still have life. My mind is still functioning. I’m able to do for myself. Probably not like times past but still I’m able. It’s times like this where I have to stop and simply encourage myself. These little light afflictions that comes up in our lives are not for destruction. Focus I tell myself. Let it go! Be grateful. Be thankful. Jesus has been too good to you. Stop all this foolishness. And I begin to smile.

Isn’t it funny how our minds will just take control if we don’t bring it under subjection! You ARE totally in control of what flows through your mind. But you have to work at it. Don’t be so quick to cave into your mind when it’s taking you down stream. You know you’re blessed. You know it. So start controlling that ole mind of yours. You have it in you.

What do you do when you find yourself in a dump complaining about stuff? How long do you allow yourself to stay there? Talk to me. Be encouraged.

Encourage Yourself

The word of God teaches us that sometimes you going to have to encourage yourself. That is exactly what I’ve been doing. There have been trying times in my life and I’m having to encouraging myself daily. I have to stay focused of the bigger prize and not look back. That looking back will kill your vibe. It’s detrimental to my success.

I thank God on today because he’s been keeping me. Every time an issue arises I’m able to deal with it better. For the most part I’m not allowing the issue to consume me. I’m starting to see it for what it’s worth. That might mean nothing to others but it means a lot to me. Because day by day I’m getting my strength back. I’m being uplifted. I’m truly learning to think it not strange. Now this doesn’t mean that I don’t have emotions pop up. But it does mean that I’m working through those emotions more effectively than I previously did. Remember that post about the fetal position? Well I’m not going into the fetal position. So I’m just thankful for the progress that I’m making.

The photo above is true. I don’t have to cry about the issues that arise in my life for I know that Jesus is already working it out in my favor. See what I’ve learned to do is to stop putting so much focus on my issues. That’s a strategy that’s not healthy. Because the more you focus on a particular thing the bigger it gets. So what I’ve started to do is what Philippians 4:8 teaches us to do and that is to think of things that uplift me and encourage me. Now don’t get me wrong you still have to deal with your issues but what I’m saying is don’t be consumed by them. Give the issue a time frame to work through it and then go back to thinking on other happier things. This is what works for me.

So to you my reader what do you do when you feel yourself drowning in an issue or situation? How do you work through those upheavals in your life? Leave me a comment.

Thankful but Sad

I’m so thankful on today for life. I promise you I am. Jesus knows my heart that I’m so very thankful. But I’m also sad. When the cares of life slap you in the face real hard it has a way of making you feel very sad.

I do know that it’s times like this the Lord is doing a work on me and I have to just allow things to happen and keep the faith. Nevertheless my feelings are valid.

I started this post on Saturday and now it’s Wednesday. I’m not necessarily sad but I’m in a constant state of analysis. Analyzing everything. Taking inventory of my life. My counseling said something to me Monday night that has resonated within me so strong. I have to go back to age 16 and begin to develop emotionally. I was like huh? But upon hearing her explanation it makes total sense. You know this thing called life is not a race. My goal is to get whole. To become complete naturally, physically, and spiritually. So how ever long the process takes I’m in it for the long haul.

Anyways let me here from you. How do you deal with your emotions? Are you at a place in your life where you’re taking inventory? If so tell me your process.

Over in the midnight hours

You know over in the midnight hour is a phrase I grew up on. My grandmother use to say it all the time pertaining to one thing or another. But as an adult I totally get it now. Well last night I had an “over in the midnight hour” experience. I toss and turn from midnight to 5:30am this morning. You see I’m going through a rough season in my life right now. And last night got really hard. So much so that just typing this entry is bringing about tears.

You know over in the midnight hour doesn’t have to begin at midnight. I’ve had one that came in the middle of the day. Nevertheless I got no sleep last night wrestling with my mind. It was all over the place. It wouldn’t stop and I got into a pity party by myself about myself. How many know Jesus don’t care nothing about your pity party? We’ve already been instructed to “count it all joy” so instead of wallowing in my mess last night I should have gotten up and paced and prayed. I did pray but while lying there. And when you’re lying there thinking of all your drama it’s hard to go into a good prayer. Every time I reached out something would pop up.

My mother’s mother came to mind. She was selling condemns. 😳😳😳. I dont know where it came from but it was so vivid. She has having them delivered but the truck load. I even told her I’d store some in my garage. Then I went back into prayer. Lord Jesus strengthen me on today. Have mercy on my soul. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit in me. Then my 2003 situation came to me. I begin judging myself on how I handled that situation. How many know that there is therefore NO condemnation to those that are in Christ Jesus? I know that but my mind and that ole devil was accusing me of all sorts of things. For those of you that don’t know what I went through in 2003 keep coming by and reading my blog it will all be revealed soon. Again I begin to rebuke the devil and his tactics. I begin to ask Jesus again to help me mortify things body and to cast cares upon him. For I know he cares for me. I begin to beg for Jesus yoke for it’s easy. Then my current situation came. I mean I was crying and sweating. And if you read my previous blog, I went into that fetal position that wrote about. I had gotten low.

Praise God for new grace and mercy on this morning. I’m here and alive and pressing. I’m leaving yesterday behind me and going to press my way into victory. You know last year Jesus gave me I Peter 5:10 so I have to believe that even when things are looking different then the promise he gave me I’m going to continue to stand on his promise for I know that all his promises are yes and amen. How many of you believe that we are not children that walk after what we see but instead we walk by faith calling those things that be not as though they were. So this morning I am claiming victory. I rebuke myself for letting myself get into a rut. I know better. I asked myself whose report was I going to believe. Was I going to allow that ole spirit to take control or was I going to armor up?

Can we be honest for a moment here…..most time when we (I) fall into this kind of thing it’s because I’ve given flesh more attention then my spirit. It’s the truth. We don’t want to admit it but it’s the truth any how. I know it is. Y’all Jesus is real. There is NO temptation common unto to man that Jesus won’t make room for us to escape. Hebrew 10:39 teaches us not to draw back to perdition but instead to go on believing to the saving of our soul.

So although I wasn’t strong enough during my midnight hour experience I encourage you, my readers, to be encouraged on today. Press and fight for your soul. Don’t be defeated. Feed your spirit man so you will had the weapon to stand up against evil and worrying spirits. I compel you to fight for the salvation that was once delivered to the saints. It’s ours but we gone have to take it by force.

Let’s pray for each other. I know I’m not the only one going through. We over come by the blood of the lamb and by the words of our testimonies. Folks dont want to share their testimonies no more today because we all want to look well put together all along we are dying and hurting in the inside.

Is there anything I can stand in the gap with about on today?

Fetal Position

There are times throughout the day where if I’m not careful I find myself in the fetal position mentally and physically. It use to happen more often then it does now. Now I’m aware of it so I immediately get myself going before I get that low. I learned some skills in counseling.

Sometimes my mind won’t stop. It wants to go back in time and try to figure out why. That’s where it begins. I begin to think of why things happen to me. Why people let me down. Why weren’t people there for me. Why did I have to walk alone. How come people can’t be real. It starts to think about some the worst positions that I’ve been in. But now instead of getting stuck I press. I read. I write. I journal. Or I do what I’m doing now, I start blogging.

My schooling and career is that of analysis so I can over analysis stuff easily. Without even realizing that’s what I’m doing and before you know it I’m about to cry. Now I confess to be a Christian and I know not to look back. There is an example of Lots’ wife looking back so I know the consequences of looking back but I’m speaking my truth in telling you that I’ve been guilty of looking back. I’m trying to practice not looking back because thats where things begin to spiral out of control. So starting back blogging has really been another outlet for me that keeps me from getting into that fetal position.

You know I really do thank Jesus for all that he’s allowed me to experience in my life. I’m literally learning to count it all joy and to think it not strange when I even go through various situation. I’m starting to really be grateful that as he told the devil with Job, have you considered my faithful servant, he’s done and doing the same thing with me.

So you know I like feedback so to you my readers what do you struggle with? Do you ever experience that low level of depression and if you do what do you do to get out of it.

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